And he knows that the more he pushes you away, the more it'll leave you confused and addicted to him. After nc period my 2 attempts were failed because he didnot reply to my interesting texts. Your mean boyfriend may have a problem with this behavior if you watch him carefully. Dont go changing yourself just to fit into someone elses image of a perfect girlfriend. His coworkers who I've known for a long time all gave me uncomfortable or pitying glances. It's hard to have a perfect relationship if you're not both expecting the same things. But first, everything sweet and nice starts with you getting a better understanding of your own relationship. Im seriously struggling with a hot and cold ex. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. This is a question that many people ask themselves. Should i step back? If yes, then youre probably friendzoned or hes stringing you along because youre just there.. (modern), I always try to do right by him, but a lot of the time things seem to get twisted as me doing the wrong thing. (Posed by models), au.reachout.com/articles/domestic-violence-support. Please help! Make a list of the important points of your interactions with him, and try to gauge what you think his intentions are. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend you need to leave ASAP]. In the past I would be asking him whats wrong or if I did anything wrong. People often wonder why their partners change. Sleeping Together But Not Dating: A Really Good Idea or a Bad One? 1. If you dont tell him, hell never know! I was kind of annoyed he tried to do that and it really hurt mu feelings. Scare them. Guys are taught by society that they should not show vulnerability, so if he is able to do that with you, it is a huge deal. Ex asked me to get back together yesterday, I agreed yet when I said when are we meeting he seemed to give me the cold shoulder and mixed signals . In this case, ask yourself whether you want to continue dealing with his mind games. You can never tell unless he says it himself, but perhaps your boyfriend is an annoying pig who isnt really serious about you or the relationship. And if that doesnt work, you need to walk! For all you know, your boyfriend probably has no idea youre even upset with him. I think No Contact is what I would recommend in this case perhaps indefinitely. The best way to determine that is by looking at their behavior and actions. Might I add that we did start back being intimate in December 2018. But, some people are pretty mean by nature and it isnt necessarily about you. Last weekend we went four days without talking. He gets annoyed easily and will sometimes up and leave after only being at my house for 5-10minutes. After the break up I tried desperately for 3 months to get back with him. So, what does it mean when a guy is mean to you then nice? I don't think he has time for the two of you he's so focused on the other person. He may be the most important part of your life. Once the confusions are all sorted out, perhaps you could move on to your own happily ever after. But to him, you may only be a small part of his evenings. my class is very small so we all know each other. Weve been talking fine. He also stated that he had to leave early. He followed up by saying I just want you to know that I will still cheer you on and help you. If this person is genuinely toying with you with no confusing feelings on his end, l recommend you look back on your relationship. Being around him is never fun. Nothing. 2. These hot and cold interactions are not fun, but they are a part of the process as your ex deals with his feelings about you. He's not man enough to just talk about it, so instead, he's getting revenge. Doesnt even say sorry just totally acting like nothing happened. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. He also did the same a few weeks back where he did a bit of research into one of the guys I went on another date with and basically said Ill be okay considering he got told the guy I was seeing was a bad person. Stop changing yourself for your boyfriend if you find him mean. But, thats not always the case either. You may be his arm candy so he can show you off, or it might be just for sex. Try asking yourself what the underlying issue might be if you're always asking why is my boyfriend so mean. He might still be trapped in the loop of unhealthy behavior. He needs to own it. I tell him no. Although we do have many differences in personality, I feel it works because my ex and I were so similar that there was no spark. I have the friendship and the physical attraction, but I cant break his emotional barriers to get that part. I myself am about 6 months into the process. Because I dont know if your relationship is abusive, I also need totalk about this as if it were a normal relationship that has gone wrong. period so the fact that he responded about that issue he can maybe willing to response to this interstig topic. He's your ex, as in the past, and he doesn't seem to be consistent with his behavior. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. And the more you try to help them become a better person, the more mean and annoying they get. So, there is a guy that has liked me for a long time. If this is the case, and if youre really sure this is what is going on, you have to just walk away with dignity. Occasionally, guys use words that sound worse than they really mean because they aren't sure how to use them. Changing him starts with showing him what's going on and helping him change. Is he really a mean boyfriend, or did you just misunderstand what he said? I dont want to be needy and clingy, I managed that months ago, luckily, but I need to reconnect at that level too and I dont want to force himbut there must be some way. Ive been having the hardest time trying to get him to sit down and talk with me. Sometimes, relationships are just a pain in all the wrong places. I know I have to see/hear from him again bc we have a championship game next wk, and he has my ATM card. If your ex is working out their feelings, it means that there are feelings still there, which is an automatic point in your favor. Why is My Ex Boyfriend Nice And Then Mean? Force him to view you as a choice. I suggest meeting somewhere in the middle. It can be difficult to figure out if your significant other is being nice or mean. I have never participated in sports and he is a true athlete at heart. it did make him reply because he knows he has to reply to help you but its not an interesting topic but at least you know hes willing to help.. Dont overthink.. I just want to know what you all think is up; could it have to do with the other girl? If this is the case, we suggest you get rid of this worthless user right now. At first I thought he was just making it up to guage my reactionbut now its really bothering me. Maybe he doesn't really think about how he's affecting everyone around him. The guy is just bad and doesn't need a diagnosis of a personality disorder to make him feel better. April 4, 2022. Archived post. Ninemonths after the move, I met awonderful guy. Basically, a mean boyfriend is exactly what a mean person is, except its coming from someone who is supposed to love you. I no longer argue as passionately or stick to my guns, because I cant bear it. I asked him if something was wrong, and he said no. What shall I say if he contacts me . Focus on small sexual innuendos, refer in passing to past sexual experiences the two of you had, and use some subtly body language. We were texting and he said its my birthday today so I said Happy birthday! Me feeling insecure as a result of his distance and then overreacting when something doesnt go my way or when I dont like something he says. I did tell him that I would do better with calling him so it wont be one-sided. You don't want to spend time with a guy who gets bored with you or the relationship. Is it worthwhile to try to keep a guy who just wants to walk away from you interested? Is this a prove of desinterest of his part? No outside videos or links - mods dont have to verify if it follows the rules. Sometimes, you may be the best girlfriend in the whole world. All rights reserved. Here are a few things you can do to keep him interested. I need to ask you about my ex. Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure the discussion remains on the topics raised by the article. Maybe hes a pretty off-handed kind of person and he doesnt realize how hes coming over to those around him. Some of them are: -He's insecure about his relationship with you and wants to make sure that he has your attention all the time, -He's trying to get closer to you so he can get closer to your friends, -He doesn't know how to show his feelings for you. There are many reasons why your boyfriend might be nice to you then mean to you. Im trying to be patient with his weird behaviour and tell myself he is just scared to trust me, but its hard, im not sure if fear is all it is, and its just been such a rollercoaster. Id also recommend doing some serious soul-searching and work on yourself so that you can determine what you need to do for yourself to move forward with or without him. But he makes me very sad. In this case, ask yourself whether you want to continue dealing with his mind games. I didnot understand what i shoul do hep please. Pinpoint why he wants you in his life, and work to make him see the whole picture so that you are absolutely irresistible to him. Dont hang out with him every time he asks, and dont initiate all the time. Do you think he's a mean boyfriend or just misunderstood him? And he knows that the more he pushes you away, the more itll leave you confused and addicted to him. She enjoys keeping him around as an option. 1. Or, maybe its all just a big silly misunderstanding. At that moment I backed off and I did not contact for a couple days. Hes so focused upon the other person that he doesnt have brain space for the two of you. He's probably addicted to something and puts his addiction ahead of you if he's not in control of his own life. But thatll happen only if hes already in love with you. Is he really that into you? 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