Alison Green writes the popular Ask a Manager blog, where she dispenses advice on career, job search, and management issues. If a coworker is preventing you from doing your work, creating an unsafe environment or harassing you, discuss it with your HR manager or boss right away. Are you currently dealing with difficult coworkers? She eventually figured out that stroking his ego was more effective. Kogan Page, 2010. You don't want to come off as arrogant to those around you in the office. You can try using work as an excuse to escape someones ignorant comments. , Be deliberate when communicating your feelings. Everything is ok its a common answer to all your questions, even when in fact everything is out of control. Here are some of the most common types of irritating co-workers and how you can neutralize their most annoying characteristics. Here are five ways to not let difficult people ruin your day. She's also the author of How To Get a Job: Secrets of a Hiring Manager and Managing to Change the World: The Nonprofit Leader's Guide to Getting Results, and the former chief of staff of a successful nonprofit organization, where she oversaw day-to-day staff management, including hiring and firing. Perhaps you cant stand how their arrogance, moodiness or quick temper puts a damper on the company culture. They may not even know their words or actions were intimidating to you or others in your workplace. Its possible that your colleague isnt trying to shirk his duties, and hes just in over his head, overwhelmed and, After confronting a lazy coworker, take time to seek the, Simply catalog what you notice and how the actions of others have affected your ability to work and the company as a whole. For others, it may touch on vulnerabilities like feeling like a fraud in your job or approval-seeking at the office. Rumors at the office. The obliger is only motivated by external forces. Remind yourself that you're not alone If a bad apple at work is unkind to you, chances are they're mean to others, too. Please use my name, she says. They trigger something in you that causes you to almost act or think irrationally, Try this three-step approach to dealing with difficult people at the office. Amidst a daily pattern of low-grade irritation at a co-worker's annoying habits and idiosyncrasies, you may not notice exactly how much he or she aggravates you on a deeper, personal level. If you dont broach the matter strategically, you run the risk of looking petty. Difficult co-workers can high-jack your emotions. If its a bully, it can be difficult if not impossible to get the person to change, says Gary Namie, the founder of the Workplace Bullying Institute and author of The Bully at Work. Self-evaluation can be tough so get a second opinion from someone you trust, who will tell you the truth, not just what you want to hear. Think about how you can acknowledge, understand, and share the feelings of the person that is bothering you. When a colleague is mean to you, it can be hard to know how to respond. How can you stop a woman from being mean to you if you are a man? During her first weeks on the job, Terry was aggressive. This article has been viewed 289,724 times. Some people are tempted to let aggressive behavior slide in the hopes that the person will stop. I feel uncomfortable about what's happening and I need to leave. The friction of interacting with annoying coworkers actually presents a chance to cultivate essential leadership skills like assertiveness and confidence. But how? For advice on what to do if your being bullied or harassed by an ignorant person, keep reading! The bully likely interrupted you doing something like class work, reading, work for your job, or just talking to someone else. When someone asks something of them, theyll get it done. But in most cases, you can and should take action. Step 1: Position Yourself for Success. So do your best to be fair and approach the situation from their point of view as well as your own. Please share to your friends: 2023 Website - Catalogue of instant answers to all popular questions. Dealing with difficult people is not industry specific. We have a few more tips for you: It may be difficult to doespecially if your superiors dont take your complaints seriouslybut never allow yourself to be influenced by lazy coworkers. What the Experts Say When it comes to bad behavior at work, theres a broad spectrum, with outright bullies on one end and people who are simply rude on the other, says Michele Woodward, an executive coach and host of HBRs recent webinar: Bullies, Jerks, and Other Annoyances: Identify and Defuse the Difficult People at Work. You may not know which end of the spectrum youre dealing with until you actually address the behavior. Stay exactly where you are and demand the same thing, because no one has the right to tell you where you are supposed to go. What company benefits are most important to you? Learn how to manage your time better and claw back those vital hours. Youve honestly assessed the situation and decided that the behavior of your lazy coworkers must be addressed. The know-it-alls power lies in the attention you give him, so your best response here is to let the unsolicited opining go unacknowledged as much as possible. Plan out what you want to say. Writing, Resume 5 More Ways to Be Assertive with Intimidating People. But this isnt a covert spy mission and youre not James Bond. But both Namie and Woodward agree that rarely happens. You can't make anyone like or love you, it has to come naturally. In my innate desire for everyone to get along, I have found myself eagerly trying to find peace with difficult people. Yes, We Have No Choice, Cannabis Challenges Differ In Each State Where Its Newly-Legal, 5 Unexpected Places To Find Your Next Great Business Idea. "One of my colleagues at Stanford uses this," he says. For example, they may misinterpret your confidence or assertiveness as intimidation. "Over the course of our lifetimes," he tells CNBC Make It, "about 50 percent of us will face persistent bullying or observe it regularly in the workplace.". You can try to change others, but you may not succeed doing so. Avoiding them around the office or circumventing one-on-one meetings probably won't work either. Mentally prepare yourself well ahead of time for interacting with the person who intimidates you. This means taking the time to observe the employee's behavior and listen to their concerns. Use The Muse to find a job at a company with a culture you love. It got better and we were cordial but it was an awful start, she says. Thats what well discuss in this post. Speak up. As you progress in your career, your advancement is in direct correlation with your ability to establish and maintain good relationships. This isnt about taking time to gossip. ", How to deal with difficult coworkers without losing your mind. Placeat? You may be tempted to ignore lazy behavior rather than address it. If other people describe you as intimidating, it is essential to consider why they might feel that way. Well also included a few bonus tips and a specific strategy to successfully motivate even the laziest of colleagues. Remain professional. Its obvious to you and the rest of your co-workers that theyre not pulling their weight, but somehow theyre getting away with it. Youve got two choices here: You can ignore it or you can speak up about. The more you talk about something, the more life you give it. A Division of NBC Universal, There are three types of toxic coworkershere's how to deal with them, Robert Sutton, Stanford University professor and author of "The [A-----e] Survival Guide. Express Your Feelings. Be confident in your value as an employee. Stop giving life to misery. Meditation, breathing exercises, or even taking a short break can calm you and help keep coworkers ignorant comments from bothering you. But if youre not in a position of authority over your office grump, one of the best ways to respond is to have a sense of humor about it. Identify the positives within their negative comments. It may cause a huge disturbance if you dont know how to deal with coworkers who talk about you behind your back. While rare, sometimes the simple act of making your grievances known will be enough to resolve the issue moving forward. Make the toxic behaviour visible and 'on the record' Develop allies. If the person doesn't simply accept your silence, say something like "I feel like I need a little bit of a conversation break, but I want to continue to be around and be together and just enjoy our space, but I just would like to be able to just enjoy some quietude together. Zeroing in on what triggers you is the first step to creating a road map to conquer the problem. Or youve got a co-worker who believes in taking all phone conversations on speaker phone or who cranks the radio or sings loudly or wont stop whistling. Like CNBC Make It on Facebook. Dealing with lazy coworkers is never fun, but it may be necessary. To motivate this personality type, appeal to their sense of reason. They hide their aloof personality by keeping their negative feelings pushed deep down. The root cause of intimidation comes from the age-old habit all human beings have of comparing themselves to others. Remember that even if your coworker is never dealt with by management, he or she is building a poor reputation, while you (hopefully!) Why Do You Need Referent Power to Be a Better Leader? Once I had a small amount of reinforcement from my peers, I knew I could take him on, she says. Find reasons to be thankful for the difficult person. They behave in phony ways trying to hide their true feelings and mood. Let's face it. Were upgrading our systems so we can better serve our subscribers. Difficult coworkers can rub you the wrong way and force to act irrationally, which is not exactly a healthy situation in which you can succeed. When you have someones ear, Namie recommends, focusing the conversation on how the persons behavior is hurting the business. At first, they seem as a perfect workers but later they may cause serious problems. Finding recruitment a bit of a struggle? How do you outsmart a toxic coworker? If possible, seek the advice of mentors, especially those who have been through similar circumstances in the past. 10 Empowering Ways to Stand Up for Yourself at Work. Silence Is Golden If you feel the need to brag, do it outside of the workplace. Heather sought the help of a professional coach, who helped her see that Adam was a narcissist and a bully, who was threatened by her skills. Be a. your lazy coworker to do their job. Whether it's a co-worker's bad habit, your boss' communication style, or just that one menial task that you have to spend an hour on each day, it's going to drive you crazy. Changing how you react mentally, or using psychological tricks, can significantly help, says Sutton, organizational psychologist and the author of "The A-----e Survival Guide.". After the meeting, you could say, I didnt like being called Honey. It demeans me. Show that there is no reward for treating you that way. 1. If you need more physical distance from a coworker, ask your manager if you can move to a different office or desk. Its like an art form to them and theyre really good at it. Maybe its the presumption that their opinions are the only correct ones on the planet or their blatant brown-nosing to get on the boss' good side. Unfortunately, that means we have to temporarily suspend subscriber syncing. But when the tipping point comes they burst out with doing sabotage at the work. Although it can feel like frustrating co-workers are just part of having a job, there are ways to deal with them more productively and minimize how much aggravation they add to your day. It can refer to someone who refuses to acknowledge facts or inform himself about things, or it can refer more generally to someone who doesn't know about or understand something. If someone calls you Honey in a meeting, say right then: I dont like being called that. According to Rubin, the four personality types are: This personality type is motivated by fulfillment. Whether this person pretends to be your friend one-on-one, then quietly undermines you in front of your boss or sends you rude emails, they can impact your productivity and your health. Rather than judging their work performance, or worse, their character, simply state how their work, left incomplete, directly affects you. Deflect the Conversation. yourself to be influenced by lazy coworkers. Its very easy to say, Oh, that person is a jerk, Woodward says. The more you talk about him, the more he remains current in your life. Thats not a reason to let issues fester, but a warning to proceed with caution and seek guidance if its available. Try saying something like I hear you when you say that X is true, but if you read Y it actually states that Z is true., If you cant remember the details, or just want to be extra-diplomatic when pointing out someones ignorance, try saying something like Im not an expert on the subject of X, but I think that if you read Y it says Z., Offer to talk more about the issue later, after youve both had time to think. 5. They're unafraid to go after what they desire and stop at nothing to get it. You could flatter him, tell him how great he was, how he did well in a case, and hed be back on your side. Some people are tempted to let aggressive behavior slide in the hopes that. Be sure to pay attention to the anger and to welcome the awareness of it when it's at lower levels. Personal pleas rarely work and too often degenerate into he said-she said type arguments. Avoid internalising the mean things they may say out of anger. Instead, you need to take action to protect yourself. Maybe we all need to do some more research before making a judgment.. Don't Feel Pressure To Answer Or React Right Away. The most important thing you can do when dealing with a busybody is to remember that youre not obligated to share personal details if you dont want to. We allow ourselves to be triggered by our own insecurities and issues when we see someone who we perceive as not having that same hurdle to conquer. At work, indicate you dont want to be disturbed by telling your colleague youre busy. Suggest playing a favorite game, watching television, or some other distraction to change the mood and topic. Who is even worse than disrespectful coworker is a hostile one. You can simply shift the conversation away from topics where a family member shows ignorance. Finally, it would behoove you to document the entire process. If other family members are bothered by someones ignorance, you can vent to each other. To prevent that, imagine a wall between you and the person, the psychologist suggests. Cached. To the self-absorbed co-worker who only ever talks about herself, I am thankful I realized how tedious it is to be the recipient of a one-sided conversation. When youre being treated poorly by a coworker how can you change the dynamic? Correction is never easy to swallow but, when received and applied, can positively improve your relationships and overall life. 1 Ignore the ignorant person. Realizing this will help you avoid blaming yourself for his or her. Is their work affected as well? Dont tell a story of emotional wounds, Namie advises. Manage your time better to get the most out of your day. People often feel threatened because they are insecure about their abilities. If you notice someone trying to show an ego at workplace by beating you in an aggressive way - dont tolerate. Just make sure to focus on the ignorant comments, and not on criticizing or attacking the family member. The following five-step process will enable you to deal with the issue in an appropriate manner. What I didnt know and I learned later was that he wanted the role and was angry that he didnt get it, she says. In retrospect, it was my own lack of self-assurance and vision for what I could accomplish that was the real problem. Know that you have a solution, youre not powerless, says Woodward. Especially now, when an open office spaceformat becomes popular and disruptive people surround us anywhere and everywhere. You can also speak to your human resources department (or equivalent) about the bullying/harassment. Atque ipsum quas Giving signals that you dont want to be disturbed can stop coworkers from pestering you with ignorant comments for the first place. By Justin Gasparovic / Last Updated On: July 22, 2022 One of the hardest things to do in life is keep things on even-keel. How to Successfully Navigate Power Dynamics at Work, 12 Ways to Motivate Employees When You Cant Pay Them More. You can control your thoughts and where you take them. Know-it-alls have an opinion on everything, informed or not, and love telling you how to do your job better, where you went wrong in todays meeting, why the client wont like your presentation, and even what kind of raise youre likely to get this year. You need a plan, a strong strategy to motivate your shiftless colleagues and improve their performance. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit. , Choose your battles. To maintain control when dealing with an intimidating colleague, some tips include rehearsing responses ahead of time and trying to appear calm. Laughter can diffuse tension and shift attention, so telling a good joke or funny story is a good way to keep the peace and overlook a family members ignorance. Make the employee feel heard. 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