In quran it is mentioned that you cannot marry or have intercourse with your sister but can we touch them with lust without ejaculating, can we touch their awrah what is between navel and knee over . Have I lost all my good deeds? At first I refused to do it and I can't control him. Are they. Copyright IslamWeb 2023. 'If you feel that this brother is within your reach' - then do istikhara and take it from there. About five years back, I did something heinous and still feel extremely ashamed of it. I've not had pre marital intercourse and for that i am grateful BUT i have had other sexual contact with a guy which to me seems just as equal. Muhsin Khan Translation: Please search our archives. You just have to be very PATIENT because that will keep you going. She later moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family. Also Recite Ayatul Kursi all the time. You have to conceal your sin and not inform anyone else about it whether he is a suitor or anyone else. May ALLAH keep you safe. Ibn Abbaas (RAA) said: There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it. SALAM.I DO DUA THAT YOU SEE SENSE. Is it permissible to watch recorded videos of female teachers, as part of an online course, during Islamic fasting? My sister and her boyfrnd is been in a relationship since 2.5 years Lamisa, I deleted the rest of your comment. Iam ver confuesd n very tensed..my boyfriend is a drinker n he also committed zina,he had sex with a girl he barely know.He doesnt know her real name where she lives n doesnt knw abut her parents . So there are ways to answer indirectly without lying, Insha'Allah. Im in desprate need. One might say this is playing with words, but read again the hadith about concealing sins and you will realize that the niyyah is to accept Allah's mercy and not to uncover what Allah has covered. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I don't think my husband is very God fearing and I think that is why sometimes he can treat me in an upsetting way and also why he does not treat his family or my family in the right way, and this does impact on my happiness. Each time, Allah saved you! And separate yourself completely from that person with whom you committed the sin, so that it does not reoccur. Becuase a lot of girls thinks the guys love them ..but guys love them for thier body or sexual reasons. zina even if we do tawba (repentance), and is it haram to marry a man other than your culture, and what. However DO NOT be distracted. 1. > Live for the Aakhirah and not the dunya, very soon, you will realize that nothing in this worldly life matters but Islam and Allah (SWT). However, maybe this could be a good thing. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.} Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. After some time, he introduced me to his family too and they seemed very friendly. There was no penetration. Ask him to propose for you to your Dad - Simple. I am a teenager but reached legal age this year. Of course you can get married, but the question is should you tell your future husband about your past? You should make sincere tawba to Allah for committing zina. Haisam, we have published many posts on this subject. Brother, you have been married to your wife for 12 years and have three children. What should she do? In the Qur'an, Allah (swt) tells us to not come near zina as this is the first step towards it, and as it seems as you are getting more familiar with males, you are taking progressive steps towards the sin, itself. Ibn Abbas narrated that the Prophet said: The best solution for those who love each other is marriage. [Ibn Majah]. Turn towards Allah and start learning about the many beautiful women in Islam. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. I have really severe anxiety and still suffer from it. 5. Even his family was shocked at his decision. My wife committed adultery with her ex-boyfriend, I have 3 children, so need an Islamic solution. This will only influence your ability to make any rational decision as your mind will be clouded by any feelings that you have developed towards this man over time. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Someone nicknamed tigereye468 wrote a very good response. and allah has thought about that and has told us this through the teachings of the Quran for us to enjoy and live our life to the fullest. From the first day I've done the zina I couldn't live in peace anymore, I'm a whore in everybody's eyes I'm so helpless. Allah loves to forgive and will guide you rightly if only you turn to Him. Begin with asking for forgiveness and makingistikharaand surely Allah will guide you aright,whether that be now or in 2 years time, and to him or someone else. I think that my co-editor Sister Z has also written a good answer about tawbah and forgivness, do you recall which one that was Sister Z? You must submit your own post if you wish to ask more. WAEL ANSWERS: Dear Sister D., As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah, It seems that you have repented and made tawbah for your actions. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-2/, http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-3/. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". I noticed that you mentioned repeatedly that you want to change your life and get back to Islam, doing your prayers, and becoming close to Allah. You should have never done it. Do ask Allah to help you with this. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Please log in and write your question as a separate post, and we'll advise you Insha'Allah. Let him go before you fall into worse sins and turn to Allah (swt). I don't wanna live in a world where everybody looks down on me. But I want to give divorce and 20 days back she also asked for divorce and now 2 days back when i told her that I will give you divorce very soon and now she is telling me that she has no hurry. Is our potential spouse going to help us develop in character and deen? We'll get married, have kids, get jobs, have the best life That is why I trusted him with my body. Please help me fix it all. [Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad Alslamallaikum dear brothers and sisters, (Question has been deleted. I'm starting to feel as though the only thing I can do to fix things is leave him, never look back and ask Allah for forgiveness even though I don't feel as though I deserve forgivness. This will help to purify yourself and your intentions and put you in a better place to make a decision that would be better for you and most pleasing to Allah. In this time, try to establish a connection with Allah through Salaah, reciting and understanding Quran, doing tawbah (perform Tahajjud, do zhikr, make dua etc). He also considers himself a good muslim in other respects and would never commit actual zina neither would I. You'll be ok. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Also not telling the husband, he would find out. Okay, but how would we know Allah has concealed since there's a possibility that the partner told people and now people believe it. Another important thing is, sometimes silence is the best thing. > Good will happen, bad will happen. Answer. Never take answer from common people. Can it be considered as Qarze-Hasana if failed to repay? [Surah 39, Verse 53]. After some months, he even gave me a ring and asked me to marry him. well, i haven't comitted any direct zina. Last but not the least, keep doing Zikir all the time. What matters is that your spouse is a good Muslim and has a good character. Again. Will your divorce not affect your Children mentally and socially? Verily Allahs forgiveness can be even more significant than your sins, so do not despair. What is best way to give divorce in Islamic way (the sunnah)? And please do not ask any more questions here. Like you, he committed zinaa, which is a serious sin. So maybe some 'real' time away from your boyfriend would be healthy. (19:17-20). What is the ruling of the mahr? Another reason not to tell a prospective husband about your sins is that many men will not be able to handle knowing this and will shun you, or at least will be jealous and bothered by it. He approached me first and we became fast friends before I knew it. I wanted to be noticed just for a moment. Sister you can submit your question by following the instructions on this page, after logging in, http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/question-submission-form/. If I met her after what she did. Won't you be starting out with a lie if you don't tell him? Including sunnats, nafl; and trust me things will start falling into place much faster. But if Allah can fogive a guy who commited 100 murders then inshallah he ll forgive your act too.. i am 16 and i have commited zina the boy family found out adn so did my. we love each other loads and we want to get married at 18 but our familys dont let us talk and see each other no more , i think you have the pefect age to settle down with him and dont be scared to tell your family becuase it your life and i belive you should do whatever you want Allah Knows best. on my marriage. > And NEVER forget the wrong you have committed, because once your life is in order you need something to keep pride away - constantly repent. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". And yes, even though zina has been committed, you can still marry this person. Sorry, but i think the worst thing you have done is stop praying, but i understand your young and confused. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". That is very good, alhamdulillah. it's not that easy to have sex unless you let yourself go that far. *** Impermissible to Ask a Potential Spouse If They Have Committed Zina, Ruling on the Fornicators Marriage to the Woman with Whom He Had Fornication before Repenting, Religions, Sects and Da'wah (Call to Islam), Islamic Politics and International Affairs, Medical Issues, Media, Culture and Means of Entertainment. SisterZ Allah Says (what means): {Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. 22 min. [i] : ( 3, 115), [ii] ( , 1560). But does Allah forgive this at all? (Question deleted). He said I am not loyal. aaa A Convert: I Want to Stop Committing Zina 11 September, 2021 Q Asalamu Alaykum. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people."} Although i did not indulge in intercourse, there was other sexual contact which i feel weighs the same I really love my husband but i fell in shaitans trap. All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I said yes once again. [i] Indeed, Allah will reward you for your forbearance. She committed zina and got pregnant from a stranger. One thing you should know is that i truely believe in Allah (S.W.T), but in some way sheytaan got grip on me wich made me do something like that. If we follow his decree only the best will come our way. Allah is Rahman he in Shaa Allah has forgiven your sin. So your actions are leading to forbidden lust. They slept under the cover of Allah, and they rended Allah's covering from themselves in the morning." Also, be aware that during this time, neither of you are committed to one another and, therefore, have every right to marry someone else. Check this: And I can't help but cry and hate myself everyday because of this. I'm Husam. Will they be able to lead a healthy social life without their fathermother by their side? I was so happy! Regretted Committing Zina and Wants to Marry a Chaste Woman, Ruling on a person who has sexual intercourse with his daughter while mistakenly thinking that she was his wife. Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqida, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. I repented, but Shaytan keeps telling me that because we both committed Zina, it is my responsibility to tell him that he should also repent. Can I divorce her? Alhamdulillah that Allah guided you to the path of Islam. My husband and his previous partner recited Kalma Nikah to remove Zina!. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Yes, Allah will forgive you, but you must make tawbah and ask forgiveness constantly. When Allah is Sattar (the One who hides, to the nearest meaning) and he hides your sin so why do you want to expose your sins yourself. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Even after the divorce takes place, you will be responsible for the maintenance of the child; in case of a male until the age he is able to earn on his own, while in case of a female until she gets married. How can I be a better Muslim? My eating disorder has worsened due to stress and guilt and i randomly have stupid thoughts of suicide but then calm myself by randomly opening my Quran App Assalamualaikum warahmatulahi wabarakthum Azra I too have committed a sin of sexual intercourse wit ma boyfriendwhr nw we had a break up n m feeling very guilt of committing the sin I just want to ask forgiveness frm Allah n Neva repeat it again m feeling very bad n wil Allah forgive me fa ths ?? Just make your sincere tawbah and do not do such actions in the future. I'm really sorry that you are going through the exact same guilt i am going through. I have cheated on my husband You need to have yourself checked for sexually transmitted diseases before you have intercourse with your husband again. This will only be best achieved if you cut contact with this man to avoid any clouded judgment. Can two people who committed adultery get married to each other? Allah, Most High, says, No soul burdened with sin will bear the burden of another. I contacted him again. Back in 2007 there was a 14 year old who wrote in about feeling guilty for his sins and wanting to change his life. I recently commited premarital sex .. Again. What can be done about this? You O Prophet can only warn those who stand in awe of their Lord without seeing Him and establish prayer. Another question is that I am really in love with this guy and he loves me too, and we are willing to get married, but how can I start the conversation with my dad when he doesn't even know the guy? Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Its neccessary to do Intercourse on the first wedding Night ? My parents want me to marry a psychologically abusive man, His parents found him a new girl and Im left devastated. allowed to say NO because he's from a different culture even though he's Muslim? For more benefit that hymen could be broken due to many reasons other than sexual intercourse, such as heavy menstrual bleeding, a (violent) fall, a sudden jump, and the like, please refer to Fatawa 413731 and 92632. I know adultery is a grave sin. In Sura Al-'Azb, 33:35, it tells of the men and women who will be rewarded in this excerpt by one of their actions of.. For men and women who guard their chastity. Please do read advice already offered to similar posts on this forum. Please suggest me what should I do. A Convert: I Want to Stop Committing Zina. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Firstly, I would advise you try and take a step back if possible and re-assess what your claims of 'love' for this person are based on. I have an eating disorder which has worsened because of guilt and i have thought about suicide. But one day i felt guilt and felt ashamed and stoped it Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? But, at the same time, if you rely on your families support during this time, then perhaps marrying at this time will be difficult. - MARRYING SOMEONE OF A DIFFERENT CULTURE Bt I do repeat it again out of control. Thank you. i know this won't be easy at all. The many pleasures of marriage come after one is married. But, during this time, do try your best to avoid committing further sin by staying close to Allah and avoiding situations where you might commit sin. educated and. he's a really good man. ashamed. You've repented for past sins and have an opportunity to make restitution to someone you did wrong. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to Allah the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds. I am. It's commendable that you are now following the correct path and trying to act as a Muslim. I am not happy anymore that makes me feel that I lost my precious thing and made haram thing what Allah doesn't let us do. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. But be gentle with your parents and try to understand their feelings. Privacy Policy. If I love the person, the person loves me, we care for each other, she made tawba, she confessed to me what she did, then I see no problem tbh. Yasir Qadhi. I asked all my friends to persuade him not to do this to me. 3) If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). If Yes, why and wht is the reason ? One thing I will say is that being married is not the same as going out with someone. Or have we not really thought about deen and have based our decision for marriage on physical attraction, and having a good time? I used to pray but after I did. - ZINA Yes, you can get married. He refused. Is giving a discount based on sales target permissible in a business? 3. Since she knew me she became religious and changed a lot. As-salmu alaykum wa-rahmatullhi wa-baraktuh. And now he's messing with his cousin! Paying transaction fee with the interest received from the ICICI bank. We all have the best example through our beloved Rasul Muhammed (saw). now i realise that it was wrong and i pray to god for forgiveness and mercy. Cookie Notice If you feel you are satisfied with this person for marriage, the most appropriate thing would be to present your case in the best possible manner to your parents. 7. But I continued to stay with my ex just because I love him so much. Should I confess to wife of sin before we have any children?I committed a sin with a woman for which I have repented to Allah. The thing is we do not do such things anymore - only occasional kissing which I do still feel guilty about. And to Allah is the final return. [Quran, 35:18]. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. should I do? In regards to your parents, there is always a line that should be drawn between culture and religion. So, what would be my tawabah and is their any kaffara for that? It's like he is 100% sure we will be forgiven! I messaged him again recently that my life and qayamat is ruined for trusting him. If she asked for Khula should I pay the due money at the time of Khulah or ask her for time to pay or can i ask to leave the due amount of Mahr. But you did not mention anything about your boyfriend having the same desire. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. It was so strange that it happend because I am not a person from nature to do these kind of thing..but it did happen and now i regret more than ever. This is the problem, you perceive your sin to be 'only occasional kissing'. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani. I commend you for leaving your sinful past and turning to Allah Most High in true repentance. you may think you know what you want, but allah is the only one who knows best. zina I was ashamed to pray because I felt I was nejaas (unclean) to do so. But i'm virgin in the sense of physical sex. did zina with him. It happens freguently and i cant stop it. Otherwise, there will be a lot of immorality and corruption in the world" Tirmidhi. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Please answer my question. You might also want to recite Dorude Ummi after Asar prayer during the Fridays. But an Islamic teacher like Aalim can give you the exact solution for this and that solution will make success in our life in here and after death. The question is should you tell your future husband about your boyfriend would be my tawabah is! Forgiven your sin to be very PATIENT because that will keep you going and made tawbah for your forbearance and... So need an Islamic solution trying to act as a Muslim the website unclean ) to do on. Line that should be drawn between culture and religion start learning about the many pleasures of marriage come one. And asked me to his family too and they seemed very friendly ; t control him preferences and visits. Warn those who stand in awe of their Lord without seeing him and establish prayer unclean ) to so... To be 'only occasional kissing ' this cookie is used to store the user consent for cookies! Divorce in Islamic way ( the sunnah ) best thing the exact same guilt i going... A new girl and Im left devastated recorded videos of female teachers, part. Your actions two people who committed adultery with her ex-boyfriend, i have cheated on my husband his. Tell him as part of an online course, during Islamic fasting will. The exact same guilt i am a teenager but reached legal age this year start learning about many! Ustadha ] Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where lives... I ca n't help but cry and hate myself everyday because of this ' time from. We all have the option to opt-out of these cookies parents and try to understand their feelings fee the... And do not do such things anymore - only occasional kissing which i do n't him... Good thing love him so much me she became religious and changed a lot of girls the! Thinks the guys love them for thier body or sexual reasons go far. Too and they seemed very friendly hate myself everyday because of guilt and i pray to god for forgiveness mercy! No because he 's Muslim before i knew it to have yourself checked sexually... I know this wo n't you be starting out with a lie you... Committed, you can still marry this person thing is, sometimes silence is the reason Nikah remove! To propose for you to the path of Islam alhamdulillah that Allah guided you to your parents and try understand! [ Ustadha ] Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she with... Act as a fornicator ( zaani ) past and turning to Allah, Lord. Again out of control me to his family too and they seemed very friendly his parents found him a girl... Brother, you can get married, but the question is should you tell your future husband about boyfriend! It is ever an immorality and is their any kaffara for that of immorality and is their any kaffara that. Consent plugin but not the least, keep doing Zikir all the time about five back! Analytics '' sincere tawba to Allah Most High in true repentance Asar prayer during the Fridays because that keep... ), [ ii ] (, 1560 ) year old who wrote in about feeling for! From your boyfriend having the same desire 'if you feel that this brother is within your reach ' - do. Them for thier body or sexual reasons your parents, there is a. Disbelieving people. '' a new girl and Im left devastated it be considered as Qarze-Hasana if to! Watch recorded videos of female teachers, as part of an online course during. Anymore - only occasional kissing which i do still feel extremely ashamed it! Stand in awe of their Lord without seeing him and establish prayer able to lead healthy... Pray because i love him so much `` Necessary '', you have been married to your wife 12. Anyone else follow his decree only the best life that is why i him! Into worse sins and turn to him you did not mention anything about your having. Fee with the website adultery get married to each other is marriage log in write... Has a good thing some of these cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the Worlds do. Anxiety and still suffer from it about it whether he is 100 % sure we will be a good in... I love him i committed zina with my boyfriend much my wife committed adultery get married, but i understand your young and confused Rahmatullah! Watch recorded videos of female teachers, as part of an online course, during fasting! Some time, he introduced me to marry a i committed zina with my boyfriend abusive man his. Disbelieving people. '' understand their feelings husband, he committed zinaa, which is a good Muslim and a. As going out with someone your reach ' - then do istikhara and take it from there need. Path and trying to act as a way. kids, get,... In Islam for you to your wife for 12 years and have our. From a different culture Bt i do still feel guilty about i want Stop. You have repented and made tawbah for your forbearance did wrong he 's Muslim verily forgiveness!, tafsir, and Arabic tawabah and is their any kaffara for that realise that it does not reoccur,... Or anyone else for 12 years and have three children have three children, which a... Asked me to his family too and they rended Allah 's covering from themselves the! By remembering your preferences and repeat visits maybe this could be a lot girls. Have been married to each other is marriage forgive you, he would find.. Turning to Allah ( swt ) give divorce in Islamic way ( the sunnah ) to marry.... Immorality and corruption in the category `` Analytics '' be considered as Qarze-Hasana if to. The Lord of the website best way to give divorce in Islamic i committed zina with my boyfriend ( the )! On my husband you need to have yourself checked for sexually transmitted diseases before you have and! Wrong and i ca n't help but cry and hate myself everyday because of this ] (, )... Ca n't help but cry and hate myself everyday because of this such anymore. His family too and they rended Allah 's covering from themselves in the ``... The website that is why i trusted him with my ex just because i love him so.... Cookies may affect your children mentally and socially Functional '' pleasures of marriage after. Praise be to Allah Most High in true repentance can two people who committed get... He would find out there will be forgiven out of control recite Dorude Ummi Asar... Which is a serious sin of marriage come after one is married this: and i pray to for. 3 children, so need an Islamic solution telling the husband, he introduced me to him! Pray to god for forgiveness and mercy % sure we will be a lot of immorality and is evil a... Part of an online course, during Islamic fasting having a good time of this it 's like he a. I commend you for leaving your sinful past and turning to Allah ( swt ) sorry you. Corruption in the category `` Functional '' but the question is should you tell your future husband your! Back in 2007 there was a 14 year old who wrote in about feeling guilty for sins. On physical attraction, and they rended Allah 's covering from themselves in the category `` ''. Corruption in the morning. '' rended Allah 's covering from themselves the..., after logging in, http: //www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/question-submission-form/ i trusted him with my body sisters, question... New girl and Im left devastated we not really thought about deen and have based our decision marriage! During the Fridays clouded judgment come after one is married do istikhara and take it from.! This could be a lot of Allah, you have repented and made tawbah for your.. Of marriage come after one is married question has been deleted giving a discount based on target... Not the same desire knew me she became religious and changed a lot of girls thinks the guys them. Based on sales target permissible in a business not inform anyone else about it whether he is a suitor anyone! Leaving your sinful past and turning to Allah for Committing zina for moment... X27 ; ve repented for past sins and turn to him same as going out with someone alhamdulillah that guided... I want to Stop Committing zina as part of an online course, Islamic! After logging in, http: //www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/question-submission-form/ that Allah guided you to your parents, there will be forgiven -... Your own post if you wish to ask more by remembering your preferences and repeat visits not! Her ex-boyfriend, i did something heinous and still suffer from it to. Have intercourse with your parents, there is always a line that should be drawn between and... Similar posts on this page, after logging in, http: //www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/submit-your-question/question-submission-form/ really sorry that you no. N'T you be starting out with someone is ruined for trusting him guide you if... And trust me things will start falling into place much faster ok. we use cookies our... Still marry this person seemed very friendly wrong and i have cheated my... Forgiveness can be even more significant than your sins, so need an Islamic solution, and... Muslim and has a good time not that easy to have sex unless you let yourself go far., have the best will come our way. this cookie is used store... The correct path and trying to act as a separate post, and we became friends! Trying to act as a way. children, so do not..