In the interim, our connection and communication will start to tank. I really dont want to lose him. This is the partner who is withdrawing and isolating. Sometimes, he tells me he loves me. He didnt say anything. I desperately need some advice. At some point in the near future hell confide in you. Please read your question again and see in every line what went wrong, and how next time you can do things differently. It's either that or he doesn't want to appear to clingy and is holding back. Take this month to focus on yourself and staying as calm as you can. Ive done almost everything I can do. He seemed very pressured. It's a way of checking out of the conversation. Long distant relationships can be hard for anyone but it works both ways. I love him. The problem now Is we fight all the time, he says I get on his nerves and Im a pest. Take the first right step and everything will be alright. Sorry that was much longer than I planned but theres honestly so much more. This is the longest weve gone without any contact, and I just want to know is he even missing me? But he gets really jealous when I talk to other guys and threatens to text them telling them to back off. So, when your boyfriend is devoting all his to work, is he neglecting you? and now we stopped nearly every thing ( like for 15 days ago) i keep talking to him but in deep down of me i feel like he is answering me and hanging out with me just because he feels guilty about us and he finds it hard to broke up with (me since he keeps telling me that i am a verry nice person ). The one who starts conversation. We did have a huge fight and i asked him if he wanted a break and he said no so we were working things out. He told me that he had felt sometimes that our love was not the love that he felt with this other girl (and other girls, the instant love, more passionate) This is not betrayal, its the truth. But when i asked to meet in the daytime, he said nvm. It seems like he is afraid that if he says I love you, its like a marriage proposal. He wants to keep them separate and dont bother you with those things. He may not be able to communicate how he feels because he doesn't actually know. Or move on. I just dont know where to go from here. Clara I would love to help but you have to understand that if you want a chance to win with this, you have to stop being so desperate. If he's emotionally disconnected, you might be able to help him get in touch with his own emotions if he is interested in doing so and agrees to counseling. Thank you, I have been in relationship for more than 4 years Everything was good before three months He changed his job 4 months before Now his schedule is very busy he comes late at home at 10 pm He is frustrated by his job a lot And he has started loosing interest in me His priorities are his friends now He. Choose the right time to express what you feel for this guy. Rather, he is a great listener and will always do the right thing for you. Buy 20 Oct, i found a room and told him i would move out. If she is not blaming herself and her sense of self in not damaged by that, then we move to how can she negotiate with her partner so he can make more efforts. He couldnt stay faithful to his wife why expect him to stick with you . So, I have been with my fiance for one year, best friends prior for two. Meanwhile hed still been calling me babe and saying he couldnt wait to see me and really liked me. It means your boyfriend doesnt want other things to create complications in your relationship. Is this his way of trying to get rid of me as Id rather now be his puppet if it is. And said he loved me but wasnt in love anymore. Unless they are like you and are very giving. but recently i feel he is distancing himself from me. I think that talking to him will not do much good. He said he didnt know if he loved me or if he wanted our relationship. I believe him that you deserve someone else, especially if he says it. If you cry about something and he ignores you or worse gets annoyed it may mean that he is hiding his guilt feelings about losing the love for you. try thinking what you would have advised your best friend to do in this situation. He has no more time talking and shuts me out. Do yourself a favour dump him move on and stay away from guys in relationships. So me and my botfriend have been together for 3 years.. have a house a car and two dogs together!! Kay You look forward to the time you will see each other again. I think 2 weeks worth of emotions came out. Ignoring my texts and calls that werent obsessive or clingy, just asking him if he was okay and if we could see each other. I dont know anymore.. Do you think hes provoking me to break up with him? I have been very sad for a few weeks because my boyfriend and I dont talk as we used to. "They anticipate being let down, so they don't make the effort," Feuerman says. So he went to her.. he said hed be back by 6:30, but lost track of time, and I was okay with that. This is because he feels a lot of guilt from falling out of love. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Is it just all the stress Ive been putting on both of us? I got really sad. Yes Ive tried talking to him about that and about everything. What do you want to do now? "What you think 'works' may not for them," says Dr. Klapow. Hard to separate. Also, the same person does not know who he is. If you want to trigger strong feelings of attraction and adoration in your man, you have to know how to get on the same frequency with him. Have fun? Also, they start giving less importance to their girlfriend. Anyway, heres another post of mine if you want to learn how to try and get him back (if you are totally sure its the right thing for you): https://howtogetaguytowantyou.com/make-him-regret-leaving-you/, Hi Lisa, this is so much to write but Ill try and condense it. I want him back so bad and would do anything to make us work but he doesnt think it will because Ive said this so many times and we never really took space and I think thats what we needed.. Im sorry I had to cut your story short. The truth is that in my opinion, all explanations ans trying to analyze things in the beginning and later are kind of excuses. So is he now treating me like a little sister that he is responsible for since i stay at his house, or does he still have feeling for me and is trying to fix it but wont show affection because of his ego? He said he loves me but he wants to go on a break. You will also attract people who cannot meet your needs. He started a job 4 hours away and was gone 2 weeks and home 1 week. I have not contacted him, so he has no reason to be mad at me for bombarding him or not respecting this time. He says he feels stressed free thats because I always was focused on him and not myself. Its not even been a week, this has only just really hit me & its going to take a while for me to process. I am putting the physical part of our relationship on the backburner (which is a big sacrifice to me), until the moment that we are together again. I have literally cried so much that there were some weeks where thats all I could do, and just imagining him slipping away like water through my fingers. He ignored me twice so then i stopped texting for 2+ weeks then reached out again and we texted for over an hour. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. We seemed to be back on tract. Now tell me, can a man who doesnt love himself and does not know who he is Love anyone else? Before we confirmed it he kept saying things like I wont be upset if you are and I think it would be good for us to have a kid but now it seems he is freaked out or something. Weve never had this much space from eachother and it feels good. I gave him space for a while but he didnt change his mind. He would block me for a day then he would talk to me again. We would study together, eat togtehr , sleep toegther. He seems to need more time to sort out his feelings. He said Im fat, which I would love to lose weight but stressing over it isnt going to help me. After everything you, I live with m boyfriend but anytime i ask him how serious he about our relationship he confesses that he doesnt love me anymore,but what surprises me is that he is still the same he gives me time, he takes me out and also helps me whenever i need anything, sometimes we get to a point of breaking up but he says we should try to make things work, what could be his problem because he is not cheating on me, please help me i need to save my relationship. Im just after a bit of advice. It has nothing to do with you, I assure you, but thats still the truth. What will really matter at that moment? Im so scared I am going to lose a man that I love with my whole heart, want to marry, and that I have 3 1/2 years of my life to. It also has its peaks and valleys. In may he told me he wants to stay and make it work but he isnt the same person anymore he like us to do separate thing and not together he doesnt touch me anymore like he always did only kisses me maybe once a month and we never do anything in the bedroom anymore only when he is desperate! He was always super kind to me. You dont have to find someone to be willing to marry you. When we first met that fateful night, everything was telling me he was THE one, every positive emotion that I could possibly feel was surging through me (and I had dated guys previously, had a child by my ex, so I had a little bit of life experience under my belt even at 19). These are 4 years you had fun together, were friends to one another, supported one another and shared a life. We faced major challenges, but his loveless marriage (to a woman whom he only married bc she became pregnant with their child & where we live, the chances of him gaining even joint custody were nearly impossible legally/financially) was never the issue, bc I always told him Id wait on him. And like any woman, I was angry. Lately before he left we were having some issues he would always accuse me of doing something which in reality I would be at home caring for my family Im still trying to hold on that he does still care but its hard what do u think. It hurts me so much to be away but i see i have no effect on him. My boyfriend says he doesnt know what he feels anymore and he tries to remind himself that he loves me and he feels all this is because of distance that he feels when he sees me all will be ok and he says he doesnt want me to leave his life and he feels breaking up with me will be a decision he will always regret and he doesnt want me to hate him What should I do?? This is a completely different man, Lisa. I dont ask him why until recently I finally asked him and he told me only time will tell..now Im not sure if I should just wait or leave him I need help I dont know what to do. I do love him besides all those cons against him I have to say hes never hit or cheated on me and for the most part always there for me, Im so confused on what to do He said he wanted space and would never confirm we were over but stopped answering my calls and texts. We argue almost twice a week. Your otherwise wonderful partner is bad at communicating like, serious boyfriend communication issues. Do you have patience to wait until he is better? I hope this helps, Silence will not make them go away. My Boyfriend Doesnt Want To See Me As Much As I want To See Him What Should I Do? Heres my opinion and I want you to give me yours: I think he loves me, we are happy, but its true I am the one that gives more. Why Did She Suddenly Stop Texting Me? He felt distant with everything (family, friends and me) as he just started working so he is quite occupied with work at the moment. Honestly, at this point, I dont know either. If time goes by and he is not begging to come back, its not there anymore. He was moody all the time, and didnt want to spend most of our time together. I think that he doesnt break up with you because he wants to avoid the drama. The more you try to get back closer to him, the more you talk to him about this, the more hell pull away. This can get in the way of true emotional intimacy and feel . But he doesnt ever compliment me anymore or flirt with me or any of the stuff that I had originally really liked about him. The differences will eventually catch up and cause a lot of problems. Sadly I think he wants to break up. I would like to know if you think this relationship has any chances to survive, and what should I do? Hi, Im staying with my boyfriend for 8 months now. The more calm and relaxed youll be, the more he will be too. He also says he doesnt know what to do about me feeling insecure. Maybe not having a chance to talk to you or see you at all will make him realize what hes about to lose and open his eyes. And he broke up with me. If your inner voice says you cant accept him, than move on. Im sorry youre going through this. NYE I told him for the first time I loved him and he responded that he really liked me. It will allow him to work on his issues (same with you) and when the stress goes away you can get back to the happy couple you used to be. I Broke it Off With Him Now I Miss Him 7 Relationship Experts Share Exactly What To Do, Is He Worth It? I think that you should let him go. When one person does not communicate, the relationship is bound to fall apart. He wasnt sure if he was ready to commit so he dumped me a few times but remained friends then that turned back into a relationship. My ex boyfriend all of a sudden started taking his phone everywhere with him, including the bathroom. Were both 24 and were great for each other He helps cheer me up and makes me feel happy, which if you knew me isnt an easy task, I suffer from severe depression and other stuff but I wont get into all that. He would say Im the best thing that happened to me. Non-verbal communication isn't always effective, but that doesn't mean it isn't genuine. After 2 months we met each other be accident (I dont believe in accidents), got back together and a year later we were married. Can we still win his interest back? You don't feel understood. If your boyfriend suddenly stops making plans with you or stops talking about the future he sees with you, its a bad sign. Its like his friend is his anchor. A guy in love will recognize that his girl is in pain or distress and will at least try to bring a smile back to her face. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and had our ups and down but sometimes he wont talk to me and sometimes when I say I love you he dont say it back why would he not respond sometimes with a I love you back? Of course, you ignore them. First, Is the time she spends with her boyfriend, quality time? He doesnt ask me to snap and show what I wear. Hi, well honestly I dont know what to do or think anymore. Im new to this whole blog thingy, but here i go Im 28 years old i have been with my bf for almost 5 years ON an OFF all the time, we both have been using on and off also the whole relationship also, anyways i love this man i would do anything for him hes only 6 months younger then i am, but the thing is is he is sooo controlling and emotionally abusive, i have bipolar, anxiety,ptsd, and much more and to deal with him being so mean to me and controlling to me on a daily basis i just dont know what to do everyone i know that knows this situation tells me i need to leave him and stop coming back when he needs me but i dont i always give in cause im scared of what he will tell my family about what i have done in the past! Hi! so lately my boyfriend doesnt seem to wanna be with me anymore he says he loves me and cares for me but I dont believe so I feel like a ghost and a bother when Im with him hes always hanging with his friends or family and Im scared he doesnt love me anymore and he only wants me for my body I feel hes coming up with excuses and he will never let me look at his phone once ever since we stated dating and lately he says hes been sleeping during the day time form 4-6 hours Im afraid hes cheating on me and I dont know what to do, let me advice you by saying dont ever lose hope now its your time to look what God has been given you.you must wait until you get what you deserveeverything happens slowly. Because the expectations between partners can be so different, I think the only way to deal with the issue is through communication. And when they do, we are so surprised that our expectation has realized, has manifested. Hello Lisa, A way to run away from them (to something he already knows how to handle) instead of dealing with them. The best thing to do in my opinion is to give him his space. They don't communicate well. Two days ago he told me he feels that I love him more than he loves me, and that he has doubts about his feelings for me. Because I adore him. And if it ever happens I truly believe I will be losing the love of my life. I know you feel you love him, but he is not interested in making an effort to save your relationship, from what youre telling me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. Please guide me on what I should do to take us back to where we were or how to win him back. but much more sex than normal but it was amazing and our connection was better as a couple , ( but we were separated ) .. its much more that happened after that good and bad but too much to type , i typed enough already lol . I went to live with my mom. Also I think its worth noting I am 26 and hes 22. that he is losing interest in your relationship or in you? Lisa, I need your advice. It never feels normal if he does touch me now because its been 7 month. It slowly starts to take its pace and then it gives you a rush of blood. Take a look at the meaning that you are assigning to he doesnt miss me. I tried to appologize but he dint want to hear it,so the whole of september we ignored each other. But stop thinking about him, take this time to think about you. Then Sunday comes and he broke up with me and blocked me, then he unblocked me again. Suzanne Carter, MA, LPC www.unitywholenesscenter.com. He wont respond to my messages while playing like he used to. His work has also appeared in "Talebones" magazine and the "Strange Pleasures" anthology. Its truly hard for me to feel something for someone, even if its only attraction, its very difficult to me. More than that, you can, with the right knowledge, make your boyfriend WAKE UP and see the beautiful, smart and loving woman he has, standing right in front of him. Now Im the one who was left heartbroken and hurt and blindsided by the break up. We live together, have a cat. A person might avoid a topic by being silent, changing the subject, ignoring his partner by . Instead of asking your partner for what you need from them, ask them what they want from you. Dear Lisa, I know its not easy trying to have the right answers for everyone but you have been doing so wonderfully well. Again, illustration is key. He knows, obviously, that he can have you when ever he wants, because you have told him over and over. Now you have to decide if you can relax and enjoy your relationship just as it is, or not. Hes only felt a spark with me and one of he relationship for a while ago, but in every relationship he hits a wall and cant connect like the other person is. Ive been with my boyfriend for three years. I would move on. x, I think your instincts are right: This is not really a relationship at this point. Once both of you are on the same page, every little problem will seem nothing to you. I tried to appologuE for 3 days but he dint want to listen, so in the end i told him i would move out in end of Oct and he accepted. I think that you should think about things when you are calm and relaxed and only then make decisions. This time round I had a more serious h2h talk with the mention of thinking of breaking up. Its true that I am the one in the relationship who makes more sacrifices and is more comitted, but until a couple of days, he had always told me he loves and we have been making plans for the future (move in together and stuff). Think about it. Why dont you stop looking after him and doing everything for him and see what happens then? Since he knows I wont like it, he goes to visit her behind my back. 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