If karma is as bad as what they say, and several times worse than what they dish out, then being in their shoes would be a terrible place to be. Do with that what you will. He never got over that. Hang in there, look at your gorgeous kids, and let them melt your heart, let them show you that unconditional love, joy and happiness again. Asked for divorce blah blah blah. and has to accompany him on nights out with his freinds? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. He could not take someone like that yo business or corporate events. He immediately moved Nikki into Bellas very expensive home and told Bella to get out. I would say you get as far away emotionally and physically as possible. The OW got married a couple years back. Tabs, I am sure I would love to hear something negative happening to my h ow, but I guess I have to understand that I may never hear about it. I have not spoken to him since. She was his last choice, even though Frank was the only man Marilyn had ever been with. I think this guy is in the minority in terms of his level of obsession. Her husband, TV producer Tom Gutterage had an affair with a mistress called Rosetta Bain (which is ironic since she acquired him via an affair). So many people would love to have a family that would take them back &/or still love them after all this. As I said he hasnt contacted me since six months ago and on the 8th of this month is my brithday, and I have no idea if hell send me a b-day message which I highly doubt (because he doesnt even know when my exact birthday is). Being born as a male is considered a result of a higher kamma. Fromhttp://www.post-gazette.com/life/lifestyle/2005/02/19/When-married-men-wed-mistresses-results-are-mixed-at-best-author-says/stories/200502190186, Good Therapy. West is likely to face considerably more criticism for deciding to challenge a sitting Democratic president, Joe Biden, in a race that could see the Republican ticket . New FDA-approved drug available She called irate. If you have felt the pain of being cheated on, I'm sorry, I know how difficult it is. When married men wed mistresses, results are mixed at best, author says. Another sore subject with LindaHer parents are a handful as they are in their 80s and are struggling with dementia (her dad is) as well as physical and health limitations. The video has gained over 21,000 likes. The emails kept coming from him, but I never opened them. My H had the same issue turning 50 plus a few other issues he had caused him to run scared of his birthday. Good Luck with that relationship OW! Guess that just shows you their mindset. And he realized it all he almost ended his marriage for a crazy psycho drama queen tatooed girl. No family support, his kids and wife will be a distant memory and one he wishes he could call. cant wait for the day that she discovers messages from another woman on his cell phone; bring on the karma! Its been about 3 years, I think, and on the surface they seem to be doing great. But, Scott brought Nikki to the next family gathering and he introduced her as his fianc. I have yet to see a situation where a man marries his mistress and both people are normal. Then, one day I got an email from what I figured out was his wife with the subject line: please dont have an affair with my husband. He is not making his decisions on love or family bit appears he is abandoning you but in actuality he is trying to escape his guilt and shame. You can only avoid or deny for so long. Im sure my dad will eventually get fed up of her being like detective and eventually leave her, but to be honest she should have thought about that before she had an affair from him and wanted a false commitment from him. Their wife would not tolerate it. We make sacrifices, we live in a state of give and take, their are happy times and times of sorrow or disappointment, we have all been there. I have witnessed twice in my life, where sociopaths got karma. One good thing about the www. Otherwise we would just be whip sawed behind her anger at his betrayal. But one day it will implode and he will be shell shocked w/ nowhere to go. If a husband is willing to do that, he is also willing to make you out to be the wicked witch with whoever will listen. Thats your karma. Youcan be the other woman and still get your man. And dont worry you lost a cheater and he lost someone worthy like you. Healthy good job + I own my own business. Choosing to be the Other Woman (OW) is a very tricky and risky decision to make. The expensive house has been sold and now he and Nikki have no one to mooch off of any longer. You dont know how this guy will turn out to be, maybe he will end up being her worst nightmare. I hope this helps someone. Finally, he somehow found my parents email for their business. But when I got home he said something which Ive only just remembered , which was I hope you realise I am free now. Was his mom controlling? Patty Scialfa and Bruce Springsteen This story will eventually have a happy ending for Bella, but not for Nikki or Scott. Look, its fine to say theyre part of a small minority. I think Ive become a bitter old fart. I love how insightful you are at a younger age. Except she was pressuring my H to leave me for her. I dont understand why some women are so stupid that they marry someone willing to cheat on his wife and believe that they are so special that he wont cheat on them. I can guarantee that my husbands money is what attracts her to him, shes always been jealous of us & the things we could afford, but what she doesnt realize is that WE worked hard (he earned it, I saved) & we struggled in the past. Our niece recently had a baby and she refused to let his wife near the hospital room. So far me stating this has kept him keeping her away from me but not sure this can last forever. You just never know how things will turn out for her. Long story short - my ex was cheating on me, and left me for the other woman. She wrote me in her native tongue and was absolutely distraught. The wives if our friends would have nothing in common. Now I figure she gets what she gets. I was wondering why the BSs may feel this way--if they do, and why bad karma hit them with a cheating spouse. Apparently they are trying and well they should. That is also impossible once you already have. Chances are that things will get stressful when the other woman becomes the wife. He has eliminated himself from a job, alienated his family and lied and cheated. In fact, one of the pictures he posted was actually a group photo taken at our house on Easter of our entire family; boyfriends, sisters, husbands, etc about 30 people and the photo he posted on Facebook had everyone but the two of them cut out of it even his 85 year old parents didnt make the cut! She is attractive but I wouldnt say she is beautiful. Well, Nikki pretty much told his kids that they had been in love for a long time and that they would adjust. I understand that I shouldnt focus on her life and I dont think I have. These women need a taste of their own medicine (or shall I say poison?). Are you catching my drift here? If a woman tells a man to leave and never come back, the mistress now has an opening where she can influence him to stay with her. October . The man that she was cheating with had a wife who was obviously willing to fight for their marriage and the man was willing to repair his marriage. Personally, I have observed that they come from one of two groups: For example, it is quite common for someone going through a mid-life crisis to look up an ex-flame online just to see what they are up to. Often, the wife never hears about this action because her husbands curiosity doesnt cause him to have brain damage. His curiosity is satisfied after doing some online sleuthing and he never contacts the former flame. I will never let someone take what has taken years to build between the two of us. Its petty but I do really want that karma to just come right back around! Her posts were about guys using her and dumping her. Why couldnt I hear about something negative happening to her. I am fairly certain he will regret this in the long run, but I keep thinking, what if this really is what he wants, what if he really is in love with her? I am trying to figure out what power she has over him. To all the women who have been cheated on, let me tell you: karma is a b*tch. My brothers in law expected my ch to put up a bit of a fight, but he just said, but I want to stay! Im a little older ((ok a lot older)) and Ive seen a lot. But if her past is any prediction of her future well then I feel sorry for her future boyfriends. It was and is the only way if we are to ever be together. Needless to say he never left and did not divorce me. Of course, Nikki too refused to be left. Discover the 10 Most Important Lessons about Surviving Infidelity. So Linda and I are over at their house all the time (Linda twice as much as me) helping out; cleaning their house, cutting the grass, landscaping, taking them to doctor appointments, etc, while her brother and his wife (who live about 2 hours away) spend all their free time out partying and vacationing and visit just a handful of times each year. Too bad she suffered what she did. What he wants, what he chooses and what he justified in his little brain. Imagine that! In their minds, the fact that they cheated is their wifes fault. The former mistress will be forever doomed to look at her husband and realize that she has married a cheater. The only reason Frank married Marilyn in the end is because no one else would take care of him. Some of you claim that the OW will create bad karma for them because of their OW actions. That did not go over well with the adult children and soon after they locked their father and the other woman out of their lives. That is the biggest lie of them all. Im always scared that its been so long and this OW is so committed to sticking this out regardless of how much of his life he keeps from her that they will end up married. Learn how your comment data is processed. So, I would think that narcissists would be the most likely candidates to marry the other woman. I dont know but he came to his senses and now realizes the mistake he almost made. He had no children and no family and all of his other mistresses abandoned him. The CS and all his OW. Unless you're Angelina Jolie,Gabrielle Union (although Angy and Gaby technically aren't married to their men) or that one person who managed to get him to put a ring on it, chances are he will choose his wife/girlfriend over you. Its a totally different situation than for most men, who are perfectly happy the way things are. In fact, some people count on karma for vengeance, He done wronged me, and hell get his comeuppance when karma bites him in the ass.. Cheater do get their karma, however I have seen where they get their karma, and I have seen where their children get the karma. Her story is not confidential in that the whole town knows, but it is still not my place to provide any identifying details. People with Borderline Personality Disorder are very emotionally volatile and also lack empathy. Scott exhausted all the funds in the divorce and Nikki ran through her settlement. Soon, Nikki was divorcing her husband and getting a lot of money in the settlement. Yes, you read that right: both narcissists and sociopaths prefer power to love. There are several influences that could lead to a man leaving his wife and marrying the other woman. So spineless. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Falling in love does not excuse abominable behavior. Their entire neighborhood knew as he would bring the GF to their house while my cousin was at work. Even if a man divorces his wife, there is a very low chance that a man will marry his mistress. If I were her, I would have seriously been dragging the other woman around by the hair. Thats what the universe thinks you want since thats what youre always thinking about. This article has helped me immensely. Now, of course, it always takes two to tango and if the co-worker is able to see the situation for what it is, she may not reciprocate. The time I share with my MM is beautiful and delicious but tumultuous. The people left devastated are numerous. Reddit, Inc. 2023. You make your bed now lie in it. There are many women like her and he could have his pick. You would think he would run far away from someone so similar to his 1st wife. Well, statistics are not on their side. And if they try and it doesnt work, really doesnt work, then and only then could we be okay. 2. I would have made things so miserable for them that she would have to leave with her tail between their legs. When he died, Marilyn had nothing to show for her barren life. Hey There, Can I Use You? What Happens When a Wife Marries the Other Man, The Illusion and the Delusion of People Who Have Affairs, Follow our journey as we save our marriage after an emotional affair, their marriage hasa 70% chance of failure, doing everything to let herself off the hook, must take ownership for what he has caused, http://www.post-gazette.com/life/lifestyle/2005/02/19/When-married-men-wed-mistresses-results-are-mixed-at-best-author-says/stories/200502190186, http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/i-was-once-my-husbands-mistress-now-i-cant-trust-him, https://board.truthaboutdeception.com/community-features/message-board/5-infidelity-and-cheating/30280-i-lost-my-husband-to-his-mistress.html, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-392312/Can-mistress-successful-wife.html, https://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-142017755.html, Terms of Service/Privacy Policy/Affiliate Disclosure. 75 Quotes About Karma In Relationships. Meanwhile, Bella has seen a good therapist and the therapist has been able to show her that her ex-husband was always a user and a narcissist. My grandmother found my grandfather, a very decent man who had just come home from World War 2. His boys could be saying to him: Why does she [the new wife] have to tag along, it should just be us boys going out and having a good time I think their relationship/marriage is pretty much doomed to fail, TBH! Since he was much older than Marilyn, his health was failing and so Marilyn got the wonderful opportunity to take care of him for the rest of his life. He said she was an alcoholic, and would stay up until 3am in the morning just sat there just staring into space! I havent heard anything from him for six months: have no idea if hes dead or alive. She went to her male Minister and he counseled them. I think the second major threat in terms of situations where a man might leave his wife is when a spouse meets a co-worker with whom they think they click. Let them live theirs and move on. One day they will wake up and be miserable. If he instead realizes that throwing things away causes them not to be there anymore AND its important for him to keep the things he values, he will not throw the milk on the floor again. I will call the wayward spouses Nikki and Scott. In fact I knew I was getting my poeer back when I told him I was running a charity event and he did not have to go. I have banned her from being around my children and my ex has followed my wishesalthough he is around her child. The definition of karma as defined by Wester's Dictionary is, "The force generated by a person's actions held in Hinduism and Buddhism to perpetuate transmigration and in its ethical consequences to determine the nature of the person's next existence.". She fought hard for him and I think there were threats about the children. @TheFirstWife He was always working OT or had an arrest or prisoner or some stupid story to cover his tracks. Get 23 audios (plus transcripts) with over 18 hours of digging deep into the vaults of knowledge and experience of a couple that has survived infidelity and also of a Marriage and Family Therapist with over 25 years of experience counseling couples in crisis - plus more Carpenter, MacKenzie. We know that almost all men want to stay in their marriage in the long-run. Whether thats an amazing life of happiness and joy, or a depressing life of pain and misery. On the other hand, my husband chose me because he says I am the opposite of his mom in personality. I just sit back and wait for it to happen. She knowingly did what it took to break up a marriage and family. July, 2010. After about 7 years of marriage she gets a phone call from the OW. Howeverit still pisses me off. I wonder what he tells himself as to why his adult children dont want anything to do with him. And when she came after me his eyes were wide open. I wonder how long it will take until the company tells him to clean up his image. Revenge was her motive. Is this woman really attractive? Because people who have it coming will always get their karmic retribution. How about these folk? 110 It regularly pisses Linda off and she pretty much refuses to deal with him any longer. If he starts to complain about her to them behind her back his buddies may be telling him to dump her. Isledivah. We can lead a horse to water, but we cannot make that horse drink. She posted their entire relationship on her blog. Im past my ex but dont want this woman around. So yes we are complete opposites! Ill admit that though I choose indulgence over guilt, the guilt DOES get to me. I wonder how that is working for him. What should I do? He seduced her and was the first boyfriend she ever had. Table of Contents Home Philosophy & Religion Religious Beliefs Hinduism Karma, samsara, and moksha Hindus generally accept the doctrine of transmigration and rebirth and the complementary belief in karma. How you react is yours.". Maybe he likes being controlled. I guess the adage that you carry your baggage wherever you go applies here. She can show him how much she allegedly loves him. He is always wanting to fight/punch/shoot someone about his daughter. Since the OW apparently has banned him from contacting us, and checks his phone daily for messages from other women because she is insecure. Thankfully, they dont live around us so we dont have to see them very often. They have their families, and they have their mistresses. Thank you to all who open up your hearts and your lives when the world seems to be turned upside down, I hope that you find peace and happiness that we all deserve, we all make mistakes and we all try to live with grace and forgiveness. Karma does not work that way despite people hoping and wishing it did. Meanwhile, my friend still runs a very successful business. This idea offers comfort for many individuals who have experienced the emotional trauma and heartbreak that accompanies being cheated on. OUCH. Now he has a family he needs to support & he wont have that extra money. Your spirit guides will help you get what you desire in life. If YOU feel you deserve to be punished you will attract something that feels like punishment. Marilyn lives alone, just down the street from my grandma and grandpa. His karma is continuing to be the jerk he will always be. Sorry you are faced with this. Heck, you can be 50-something, frumpy, have bad teeth and still get your man. So on the 18 February he met bitch face on Instagram. They are selfish and self-absorbed. He said, do you love her, my husband said yes, and so my brother In law said, I dont need you, no one here needs you, just go! The Truth About Karma That No One Will Tell You If you ask most people what karma is all about they will say something like, "Karma is punishment for past wrongs." Or "What you do to others will come back to you." It's seen as a sort of cause and effect; a universal system of justice against your crimes. Well all our friends were attending and he made sure he was there. Her story illustrates that is never ends well. Unless he is willing to get professional help I dont know what will become of him and his relationship with his family. A kind and gentle parent explains to the child what the consequences are of throwing your milk on the floor. I will never be nice, never make it comfortable and if he chooses to marry her I will never invite him around as I do now. Hi, I wanted to hear from other people who may have been in a situation like mine and whether they believe in karma. What exactly is karma? Ocala, Fla. A White woman who fired through her front and killed a Black neighbor was arrested Tuesday, authorities said, in a case that's put Florida's divisive "stand your ground law" back . So karma came back to all of them in some way. Nobody ever WINS in these situations, lies, deception and broken promises hurt everyone. He is acting like a typical cheater the grass is greener right now with the OW. The whole situation just really sucks and it has really broken apart the closeness that Lindas family and extended family had prior to this happening. Tabs. Scott was notremorseful and refused to leave Nikki. This is a non-judgemental place for the affair dynamic of a single person in an affair with a married/attached person, or married/attached person in an affair with a single person. Luckily my cousin did not have children with him. She was covered in tattoos, crazy hair, lotsa make up and wore these stupid boots all the time. But he lied and said it was the first one he saw in the tattoo shop. He will know deep down that a woman capable of this is not a woman of value and not even marriage material. With the last person who was in my life, he had karma, and he knew it was karma too. Karma is not punishment, its not revenge, its not justice. QUIZ Menu Saying Sorry To An Ex To Dissolve Karma - Meditation $3.97 The Lifester 0 ratings If you have bad Karma from breaking someone's heart, the easiest way to get rid of the Karma is by saying sorry in your heart. Yes that is a stress inducing factor. I keep hoping your H will wake up but he has taken some drastic steps. Since then, he has contacted my dad again and I have set my dad straight. I want to be able to trust but cannot. The two cheaters are still together however its still veiled in secrecy. He was so screwed up in the head he could not think clearly. Our husbands were wonderful good genuine guys too remember. Unfortunately the kids suffer the most. I have read that some really powerful men like to be dominated. Just moving forward. My dad is the opposite he goes out places with the OW, but if someone who we know sees him he becomes all embaressed and ashamed at what hes done the only places they go or out drinking (he told me shes an alkie). Obviously, this crushed his children, his ex-wife and much of the extended family. At that time the crazy OW was his choice. Right now the weather is balmy and the water is still. That is karma at work. Her revenge against me was the worst BUT I never responded to her. karma. I was watching daytime TV today, sat watching the Jeremy Kyle Show (basically the UK version of Jerry Springer/Dr. Back to your brother in law. Yeah, well, all I can say is that nothing good can ever come from an evil act. I then many years later, decided to lightly date a married man from Ashley-Madison. Being in love never trumps harming another. I couldnt trust him ever again so there was no going back for me. A man has to have a flawed mindset to be open to this sort of thing. I posted about my cousin. She remained his mistress for 40 years until his wife died. sleep support+. Hes 54 at the moment, and I dont think him marrying her is on his cards and if they do I think hell be just as miserable as he was before He is currently living in her tiny house (which is really OURS) with three kids + her daughters boyfriend their son has to sleep on the sofa. One is judged solely on the way he or she lives her life and not on her motives. She is on state-benefit, works in a Fish and Chip Shop for cash-in-hand (illegally, allegedly). Therapist Gilda Carle knows from experience and I bet that if she got her dollar, she would be one mightily wealthy therapist. But it is not coming from me. Ones selfish needs are never an excuse for perpetrating actions that harm families for generations. Dont you think it is possible that karma is at work already? There is something interesting about this comment in that I believe the outcome of this situation came down to whether or not the wife was willing to fight for her husband. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. File a restraining order against both of them if they dare to bother you. She certainly isnt a very deep thinker or one to talk philosophically or anything like that. Charles knew Camilla well before he met Diana, Camilla married someone else before he did, and she even encouraged him to marry her for the sake of having heirs. Since he is a coward he will run from that and get as far away as he can including numbing his pain with WHATEVER it takes. She also travels with him regularly when he goes out of town for work. She dosent trust him after three years of marriage? She is a dime a dozen. Substance abuse and/or addiction He gets really agressive on the phone when speaking to us all: Surely the OW must be thinking: If he can speak so vile of them, will he speak vile of me if things go wrong? Which I were to meet her (which I havent; and dont want to), I would assure her he will, and has: calling her dirty, unclean, that her kid is loser scumbag, her daughters are dogs But when I emailed he to tell her she chooses not to believe it; as Ive said shes think of him as her bank account and key to owning her own house. This is when it becomes a threat to a marriage. Pay it forward. Dont let her. I can imagine that someone like that could be easily manipulated by a woman. "Forgive the person and their actions, never give in to hate. Why does she stay when your doing this to her, why does she just leave us alone so we can be together? Narcissists lack both empathy and insight into their own behavior. 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