very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa`a." Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account Answer Praise be to Allah. Once, when Jabir married an older and previously married woman, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to him,Why not a virgin? said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa`a unless The following are some essential characteristics in the Quran and the Sunnah when choosing a good spouse. He should not look at anything else.. The womans guardian (wali) should strive to check out this matter and not rely only on outward appearances. Ibn Umar reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, " Verily, the wives of Paradise will sing for their husbands with the most beautiful voices no one has ever heard. * Their women: Muslim, not polytheistic women, according to the preponderant opinion. Fear Allah and marry a man to a woman who is similar to him and marry a woman to a man who is similar to her.". Emphasising the wrong qualities can lead to disaster down the road just as being neglectful of certain considerations can do likewise. A woman may also look at a man if she wants to marry him, for she will like in him what he likes in her. We appreciate your eagerness to find out the attributes which will help you to choose a righteous husband, in shaa Allah. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied with comes to you, marry to him. Either I requested Allahs Messenger or he himself asked me whether I would like to see the display. He used to serve his household but when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer. (Al-Bukhari). If you do not do so, there will be trials in the earth and a great deal of evil. [Tirmidhi]. Marital Relationship: Marriage is among one of the signs of Allah. One of the important issues of character in the mates is the quality of intimacy. he is one of the Muttaqoon (the pious)] [al-Hujuraat 49:13], Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women) [al-Noor 24:26]. Getting married to a good husband is every woman's dream. Other narrations indicate that a virgin is more likely to be pleased by a man and less likely to be devious and deceiving. 'Umar bin Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, once heard about a woman who was married to an elderly man, so he said:"O people! (Muslim), 9. So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser.(Al-Bukhari). The Persian repeated the exclusive invitation for the Prophet who, once again, declined the invitation. Narrated by Muslim (1009). Hailey Bieber created an effortless look using husband Justin Bieber's clothes. We must be careful not to be superficial in this issue. In a later travel, when `Aishah had forgotten the race and had already gained weight, the Prophet told her to race with him again. 2- Character and Behavior (if you fail to heed)" [Muslim] And also: "Choose carefully for your seed (offspring). The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said : A believer must not hate a believing woman (i.e., his wife); if he dislikes one of her traits he will be pleased with another. (Muslim). A gray-haired man once passed by a young black-haired girl and he proposed to her. The best way to achieve this is if there is a strong attraction between the husband and wife. Rifa`a divorced his wife whereupon `AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. When a person puts beauty above all else, the results can be disastrous. Ahmad said, in a report narrated by Saalih, He may look at the face, but not in a lustful manner. He may look repeatedly, and examine her beauty, because the aim cannot be achieved in any other way.. What does Blind Heart mean from an Islamic Perspective. The characteristic of piety applies to the groom just as much as to the bride. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) separated Qays ibn Shamas from his wife in the famous case ofKhuland her stated reason was that he was exceedingly displeasing to her. Among those hadiths are the following: By Saleem Bhimji One of the recognized and indisputable commandments of Islam is that of marriage - the sacred union that takes place only between a man and a woman. About this characteristic, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser.. The first view is correct because of the ahaadeeth, and it is permitted to look repeatedly, with or without her permission. I have seen most people choosing their life partner due to beauty. When people distance themselves from the instructions of Islam and the rulings of religion especially those which guard chastity and the Awrah (parts of the body that must be covered), prevent mixing of progeny and other immoral acts they fall into the pit of vice and immorality. The individual seeking marriage must have his/her priorities straight and be clear about which characteristics are most important in a spouse in order to have a successful marriage. The 26-year-old model showed off her creation via her Instagram Story on . Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: The best among you is the best towards his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives. (Ibn Majah and authenticated by Al-Albani). Adapted from Jaami Ahkaam al-Nisaa by Shaykh Mustafaa al-Adawi. Book a Free Trial. This should be in the presence of her mahram, and it is not permitted to look more than is necessary, or for him to see her alone, or for her to go out with him on her own, or to meet repeatedly for no reason. `Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) once heard about a woman who was married to an elderly man and he said: O people, fear Allah and let people marry their types.. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, separated Qays ibn Shamas from his wife in the famous case of Khul` and her stated reason was that he was exceedingly displeasing to her. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account According to Islam, the womans wali (guardian) should check on the man who proposes marriage to the woman who is under his guardianship; he should ask those whom he trusts among those who mix with him and who know him, about his commitment to Islam and his trustworthiness. I So you should marry the religious woman; (otherwise) you will be a loser.(Al-Bukhari). About this characteristic, the Prophet said: "It is (incumbent) upon you to seek the one with piety". The Prophet recommended men to marry women who are child-bearing. There follows a description of the most important qualities which should be present in the man whom you choose or accept to be your husband and the father of your children, if Allah decrees that you will have children. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". And the best of you are those who are best to their women.(At-Tirmidhi and authenticated by Al-Albani). `Aishah reported that she accompanied the Prophet in a travel when she was still slim. Al-Aswad asked `Aishah about what the Prophet used to do at home. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, Marry the loving/friendly, the child-bearing woman, for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on the Day of Judgment. (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and others and classed as Sahih) My uncle, look at my hair! She had hair as black as coal. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil. (Reported by At-Tirmidhi and others and classed as Hasan) Log in, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023. There are manyhadithswhich urge the prospective spouse to get a look at the other before undertaking the marriage. The difference is that he is allowed to take a good look if it were not for the proposal of marriage, both would be required to avert their eyes after the first glance, as the Prophet, sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam, said to Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, about the look at a non-Mahram woman: The first is for you, the second is against you.. According to Prophet (Peace be upon him): Nikah is my Sunnah, My system. 60060 0 2636 Tweet Religion Among the many criteria in selecting a life partner, the foremost is religion. My uncle, look at my hair! She had hair as black as coal. One Hadith that makes this very clearly is: A man cannot be alone with a woman, except along with a male (non-marriageable) relative (of hers). [Al-Bukhari & Muslim], Obviously, since those engaged to be married have no legal relationship beyond any other strange man and woman, any form of touching between them is not allowed. There are, however, certain exceptions in which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram woman for reasons of necessity, one of which is in the case of proposing marriage, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a persons life will be taken. Muslim scholars stress that this good attribute applies to man just as it applies to woman. Beauty has its role, but remember that it is way down on the priority list under piety, character and religion. This means kindness, lovingness and compassion. Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) once told someone who had testified to the goodness of a person by the fact that he had seen him in the mosque that he did not know him as long as he had no dealings with him that involved money, did not live with him, and did not travel with him. One should choose who is best in Taqwa (Virtue) [Sahih Hadith]. The Prophet has even described it as the purpose of his mission to mankind, as we can see from the following Ahaadeeth: In the Quran, Allah establishes the relation of this issue to marriage, Saying (what means): "Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Book your Free Trial of Quran Recitation with Tajweed Rules, Hifz Quran with Tarteel, and Quranic Duas. Our vision is to spread the light of the Quran among Muslims. The most fundamental question when choosing a partner is a religious one- As far as language, background, or social position are concerned, these are not significant factors that absolutely must be fulfilled before a marriage can take place. This means to be kind, loving and compassionate. If the prospective partner is of good character, with a strong religious inclination, and the two young people are happy and feel compatible with one another, other considerations are not of such importance. By the same token, if the husband comes from a righteous family and his parents are good, Allah will make things easy for him and protect him as an honour to his parents. If she, for one reason or another, accepts or if he accepts, then it is their choice. This attribute should also apply to the man. believing women. It's important to understand that while wealth isn't the most important thing in a relationship, financial responsibility is an important factor when selecting a spouse. When the man replied in the negative, he, sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam, said: Go and look at her, for it is more likely to engender love between the two of you. [Ahmad & Others], Umar bin al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, once said: Do not force your young girls to marry an ugly man, for they also love what you love.. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. In other words, some characteristics whether good or bad, tend to run in some families such as anger, politeness, stinginess, generosity, lying, truthfulness and so forth. Is the mothers husband a Mahram for her daughter (i.e. A spouse means the life partner to whom you get married, the husband-wife relation. y members in making their choice. Beauty has its role, but remember that it is way down on the priority list under holiness, character, and deen. 1- Religion If a child is young and does not understand that, there is nothing wrong with him entering upon women, but if he is an adolescent or approaching adolescence, so that he knows and understands these things, and can make a distinction between a woman who is beautiful and one who is not, then he should not enter upon women. It has a certain role to play since one of the purposes of marriage is to keep both mates from sin. 1- Religion In the above Hadith, the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned various characteristics that people, by their nature and custom, look for in a spouse. Making sure that Muslims are well-matched in marriage is one of the most important and potentially difficult functions in the Muslim society. This should be the main focus of both the womans guardian and suitor. I am These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. This order is quite different from the general statement at the beginning of the above-mentioned hadith. that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed Are There 15 Punishments for One Who Neglects Prayer? It is so significant that Allah Almighty mentions it in the Quran as one of His great signs in the world: {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. //]]>, Join our e-mail list for regular site news and updates, All Rights Reserved for Islam Q&A 1997-2023, Questions cannot be asked through this form. Copyright IslamWeb 2023. There are many people who at first glance appear to be abiding by Islam, but upon closer inspection have a twisted understanding of Islam and their practice in reality may leave much to be desired. It is not so easy for the woman to get out of a marriage and so she must have priority on this issue. Among those hadiths are the following: Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) quotes the Prophet as saying,A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. 'Umar bin Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, once told someone who had testified to the goodness of a person by the fact that he had seen him in the Masjid that he did not know him due to him not having had dealings with him that involved money, as well as not having lived or travelled with him. All ways and means should be considered, giving a solid basis for a new human experience which is expected to provide a framework for a happy, successful and amicable life. Character and religion to their women: Muslim, not polytheistic women, according to Prophet ( be! Loser. ( Al-Bukhari ) groom just as being neglectful of certain can. 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