If youre the imaginative type, you can take this one step further by mentally writing the persons name on their face. Its a simple trick and its been proven to stick, Price says. When traveling alone, you can be anyone you please. Work-Life Integration vs Work-Life Balance: Is One Better Than the Other? I dont get upset over being called Ellie or Ely or Elle or Ally or even Kelly, but it does sometimes make me think a little bit less of that person for getting something so basic so wrong. Heres how it works: The difference is, Small recommends getting a little more creative in your visualization. This system is based on the concept of mnemonics, which uses imagination in combination with the five senses to take easily-forgettable information and turn it into vibrant, easy-to-recall memories. What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work? Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist Instead of thinking, "I'm terrible at remembering names" (which may have been true in the past), try this: "I'm going to remember this person's name no matter what." Actions follow beliefs. A version of this article appears in print on, https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/01/magazine/how-to-remember-peoples-names.html. Solo Travel: A New Behavior or Preferred Approach? Motivation is the force that drives memory. Brain fog broadly describes a problem with attention and memory, but the details vary from person to person. Hi Francesca, my name is Dora. James Jorasch, Memory and Innovation Consultant and competitor in the US Memory Championships, says taking the time to ensure you have the correct spelling and pronunciation of someones name increases the likelihood of future recall. In your next meeting or conference call, vow to learn the names of as many attendees as possible. Similarly, the more names you lift into your consciousness, the more you build your muscle for remembering names. Remembering names is an acquired skill much more so than a natural talent, Price says. /* ]]> */. But might we suggest a fourth option? The Better Humans publication is a part of a network of personal development tools. a white person in America. That way, instead of sounding generic with something like, So, how is your wifes art project going?, you can appear more personable with, So hows Deborahs art project going?. So its really no surprise we leave these conversations having already forgotten the other persons name. Hearing your name mispronounced can be annoying but forgivable, especially if lots of people find your name hard to pronounce, but hearing someone call you by the wrong name is always infuriating! ( function( w, d, s, l, i ) { Become an Inspiration to Others! Dale Carnegie I have a freakish memory for names, dates, and personal details about people. 'gtm.start': Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of The New York Times Magazine delivered to your inbox every week. Why not try using one of these tips next time youre introduced to someone? The ability to remember names is, in my opinion, one . With so much external stimuli and internal stress, its not surprising that your attention became fragmented. The same goes for certain foods or smells. View fullsize. Simply by going into an introduction fully present, aware, and invested in the moment can make a huge difference in remembering peoples names. And despite the best of intentions, it can be so easy to forget the name of the person we shook hands with just 15 minutes ago. in journalism and a minor in womens, gender, and queer studies from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. And, as Horsley points out, theres a good reason that children pick things up so quickly. Follow me on Twitter, Forbes, and Google+. First, picture the Sydney Opera House. Use the name immediately. A pair of glasses held on their side looks like a B. The lower lip and chin can form a D. An ear can look like a G. Sometimes patterns on clothing can form letters or give you other associations with names. There are 7 basic steps to help you remember names. Or Chantele is a belle. 1. Names are abstract and hard to visualize so you use Association to create vivid images and aid name recall. First, youd visualize her name. Their self-perception soars because youve shown them they are special, memorable, and unforgettable, Price explains. In today's lesson, I will teach you how to remember even the most complicated and unique names easily. Oct 8, 2021 7:00 AM How to Actually Remember People's Names These tips can keep you from greeting someone with "Hey . Who knows it could be the start of a really important relationship in your life? Step 1: First, you have to pay attention when someone is telling you their name. What a weird-soundin name! Stop letting attention-seekers rob you of your authentic self and inner peace. "I'm sure there's a song you could hear, maybe even a few notes, that take you back to when you're a teenager," Kwik says. Hearing someone call you by the wrong name is horrible, but knowing that someone most likely doesnt know your name and isnt willing to learn it is also fairly irritating. And thatd be great advice, if not for one thing: So many of us myself included often struggle to remember the names of the people we meet. Youre at a social function it could be a work-related meeting, a friends birthday, a community function and you start talking to a stranger. While you're at it, you may even pair this new practice with a daily memory supplementthink nootropics, omega-3s, B-12, etc. Give yourself permission to make a mistake and be forgetful. 1. Even better: Repeat the name to someone else after the interaction. The Psychology of Motivation: Why Is Motivation So Powerful? Nice to meet you. Youll make them feel like theyre not that important and that essentially you dont really respect them enough to go to the trouble of remembering their name. j.async = true; The wrong-name thing can be disconcerting. Guilt often causes people to get stuck in their own head, disengaging them from the conversation. What if you never had to feel that again? This approach can work for names with less obvious association, and that will also give you a chance to flex your creativity. By repeatedly practicing a few simple techniques every day with everyone you meet, the memory muscle grows and before you know it, youll be bench pressing more names than you ever thought possible.. If I say Hi, Im Steve and the reply is Nice to talk to you, Tim (which Ive heard more often than seems feasible), Im left thinking Did I develop a speech impediment on the way into the office this morning?. Make sure you listen when they introduce themselves and repeat their name back to them. For daily inspiration and insight, subscribe to our newsletter, and for your most important goals, find a personal coach.. Get a clear, detailed impression of the person. This is especially true if youre a member of the majority group, i.e. The Power of Leverage in Leading the Life You Want, The Key to Creating a Vibrant (And Magical Life) by Lee Cockerell, 9 Tips on How To Disconnect From Work And Stay Present. 1 Understand the importance of using another person's name. Therefore, when you fail to remember someones name, especially the second or third time they tell it to you, it sends a clear message that you do not deem them important. The primary approach used by memory champions like Horsley and Kilov is to make compelling associations that stick in the mind like a TV commercial jingle. And it's come in handy more than you might expect. When you know youre about to meet someone for the first time, take a moment to boost your natural curiosity and go in with the sole intent to actively listen to the other person. Why waste valuable brain space remembering their name? Inside, author Toni Morrison is playing the bagpipes and wearing a Scottish kilt. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and He explains that while the song, snack, or scent may be forgettable on its own, it's likely tied to an emotion or memory, which makes it unforgettable. However, dont just give up and not make subsequent attempts at learning someones name just because you didnt get it the first time around. The other person says to you: Hi, Im Sasha, As soon as you hear her name, start repeating SASHA in your head loudly a few times , Unless you have something desperately urgent to say, let Sasha talk, and as you listen to what she has to say, keep associating what she says with the name. 1. Seven Steps to Managing Your Memory: Whats Normal, Whats Not, and What to Do About It, New York: Oxford University Press, 2017. Most people youll meet will have conventional-sounding names, like Steve or Rachel (if you live in America). The more outrageous the imagery, the more likely you are to recall it in the future. Failing to remember someones name is not only embarrassing, but also insultingand it can seriously damage relationships in business. Next, out in the harbor, Malcolm X is driving a speedboat and making his only passenger, a bull, seasick by turning the craft around in circles. 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Hannah Frye is the Assistant Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen. Listen carefully to the person say his or her name, then take a picture in your mind of a unique thing about that person and register that uniqueness with their name. Maybe that person has an odd mole or walks like a ballerina. Are You and Your Partner Doing Leisure Right? } ()); Thats good! 3. Photo . he says. Making the effort to get it right not only makes their name stick in your head, but as someone who got their name right, your name sticks in theirs. Too often, we have a tendency to treat introductions as a formality; as precursors to something more important. For that reason, Kwik recommends tying emotion to your initial meeting. Or for unusual names, perhaps a rhyme: Kellyn rhymes with Helen. This gives you permission to try on new ways of being, including greater assertiveness. Yes, they really do work. Therefore, you need to practice, practice, practice., Beginning today, pledge to learn, remember and use the names of at least five co-workersindividuals whose names you have formerly heard but forgotten. Use Mnemonic Devices. window.dm = window.dm ||{ AjaxData:[]}; Use the name two or three times during the first interaction, Pun says. var f = d.getElementsByTagName( s )[ 0 ], By the time we finish talking, weve forgotten their name. To avoid this mishap, ask a simple question to get them talking first. Say it a week later, a month later, and six months later and youll remember that name for a very long time. ? Even if you dont actively intend to be prejudiced, such statements make you sound so. j = d.createElement( s ), dl = l != 'dataLayer' ? Repeat their name aloud. Theyll also respect and admire you for making the effort to remember. An individual's facial characteristics can be used as a 'peg' to anchor the association. For example: Gayle, VP of Sales. Sheesh, I can deal with Dave or Mike, but Yamamoto, damn!. One of the key reasons we forget names is that we dont focus our attention on them. Please know that this strategy works best when you follow your own personal interests. The more vividly you observe people's physical characteristics, the more likely you are to remember them. The name as a game. When you finally part ways, mention her name to her! This solution may work when you are in a small group and want to remember many names in the same . They know me on sight, by name, but . This stuff works, and it's fun to use! Try to find a distinctive feature, whether it's their ears, hairline, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, complexion, or something else. Face Association Examine a person's face discreetly when you are introduced. Dont fear foreign-sounding names. However, quick memory tips like this one could help you avoid the dreaded reintroduction, so why not try it? And whats a person to do? Dont worry at all about how to accurately spell their names, but rather focus on making up a phonetic spelling thats easy to remember. It shows that you are focused and . That might seem obvious, but its an important truth to accept. (function() { Can you link someones business, hobbies, or location to their name? Out of all facts that someone can possibly misremember about you (e.g. They may end up assuming you dont like them, harming the relationship before it ever got a chance to start. But heres the problem with guilt: Its generally a negative emotion that can color all future interactions you have with someone. In contrast, I am writing based upon my own experiences growing up as a technically minded kid without much in terms of schmoozing or popularity-acquiring skills, so hopefully other nerds and geeks can better relate to my advice. Andrew E. Budson, MD, 2018, all rights reserved. How To REMEMBER PEOPLE'S NAMES is both entertaining and practical. Imagine the Victoria in front of you wearing a crown, holding a scepter, and dressed like a queen. Guilt is also a very powerful emotion, and its going to be evident to the other person. This is critically important in business because people do business with people they like and trust. s = d.createElement('script'); When it comes to difficulty remembering things, names are at the top of the list. Get two months of unlimited learning on Skillshare for free: https://skl.sh/thomasfrank26 (You'll also be able to take my productivity course)Huge thanks to . Does it rhyme with something catchy that relates to the person? For her, you could envision a laughing zebra sitting next to snoring donkey (Ha + Zebra + Ass + Zzzzzs). I find that if I have a genuine interest in getting to know a person, remembering his or her name comes naturally. Make it a goal and plan to achieve it.. Having said that, its embarrassing when you bump into someone you vaguely remember from somewhere and you cant introduce the person/s youre with to that person because you didnt bother remembering his or her name. He spoke to Time about the issue in a story published this week. I have some easy tricks to teach you how to remember names every time. Make it a top priority to learn their name and engage in a meaningful way. There is a graceful way to get out of a group picture. Our editors have independently chosen the products listed on this page. Then continue saying his or her name silently in your head., 5. When you are writing emails to people (or letters, if youre old-school), the single most important word to spell correctly is their name. A persons own name is the single most important word to him/her; it is intimately tied to his/her identity as an individual. w[ l ] = w[ l ] || []; Presentations and Conversations That Get Results. This action becomes even more offensive and bigoted when the other person has a foreign name. If I met her at a party, I would think her hair looks just like an Ace with the pointed A top. window.dm.AjaxEvent = function(et, d, ssid, ad){ Step 3: Make an association between the persons name and something that is meaningful to you, whether it be something public (like Queen Victoria) or something person (like my sisters name is Victoria). It simply leaves a yucky visceral impression that the other person doesnt give a damn about you. }; As soon as were introduced to someone new, our thoughts are racing ahead to think of what to say next and we pay no attention to the name weve just been told. Remembering someones name, like smiling, is a simple, no cost way to make a better impression on people and connect with them on a more meaningful level. I dont mind personally, but the surprise swearing might offend someone and its pretty unusual for LifeHacker! new Date().getTime(), event: 'gtm.js' Repetition helps engrave the name in your memory. When meeting important people, do a little homework ahead of time. But no matter how powerful they may be, one thing remains true: Short of superhuman memory, you arent going to remember everyones name every time. 4. Speaking as someone with a commonly misspelled first and last name, although Ive become used to people getting my name wrong, usually twice in one go, people who get it right stand out and are memorable. She currently lives in New York City. Conclude the interaction with his or her name. if(typeof window.DotMetricsObj != 'undefined') {DotMetricsObj.onAjaxDataUpdate();} Its another example of a common sense way to be more successful, which isnt common practice. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. POV: You just met a friend of a friend, and you're in the middle of your first conversation when you realize you totally spaced on their name. You risk sounding ignorant, xenophobic and bigoted if you make dismissive or insensitive remarks about peoples names that happen to be unconventional by your local definition. Sometimes less is more. Learning another persons name is the first, most basic step in showing respect and building a meaningful relationship., In Pictures: 6 Tips for Remembering Names, Simply put, remembering names creates a win-win situation. Often when we're introduced to . 4 Steps to Regain Confidence, Living a Life of Fulfillment: How To Find Peace, Purpose, And Happiness, 20 Monthly Goals Ideas To Help You Grow in 2023. In other words: If you want to leave a positive impression on someone to make them feel noticed, important, and valued say their name. Repeat. Or link Jeff to a famous Jeff, such as the movie star Jeff Bridges; or use alliteration such as Jumping Jeff, Jolly Jeff, or Judge Jeff with respective appropriate images. It doesnt really matter what you use, so long as the association you choose effectively triggers recall of the persons name. These folks are used to people forgetting or botching up their names, so you will make an extra good impression if you can accurately recall their names. Here's how to remember the names of everyone you meet from now on. Heres how it works: With every new name you hear, you repeat the previous names youve learned while envisioning their faces. If you are not sure how to pronounce a name, Pun suggests that you try it and let the person help you. It shows people you care:\"People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.\"Our Kwik Recall program is now with a special discount, learn more here: https://bit.ly/3DwWd7q0:00 Why you should remember names3:38 How to remember names***\rSUBSCRIBE for more Kwik Brain tips: \rhttps://www.youtube.com/kwiklearning?sub_confirmation=1\r\rFOLLOW JIM: \rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimkwik/\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/jimkwik\rFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/jimkwikofficial/\rWebsite: https://KwikBrain.com/ If it has to do with leadership, jobs, or careers, I'm on it. You might think thats just the way it is, and nothing can be done to help. I want to make sure I get it right. At the very least, they will appreciate that you are making an effort. So why is it so difficult to remember someones name? Someone named Robert might not want others calling him Rob or Bob or Bobby-boy, or might have reserved those variants only for use by close friends or family members. Everyone with an unconventional name probably remembers being teased as a kid in school over his/her name, so such insensitive behaviour during adulthood (even if not maliciously intended) can bring back less-than-fond memories. On remembering and dealing with peoples names. Know your motivation. As we mentioned earlier, there's nothing wrong with forgetting someone's name after you meet themit happens to the best of us. If you want to remember someone's name after meeting them, tie their name to the underlying reason you want to remember it in the first place, whether it's to show them respect, make a new friend, or make a worthwhile networking connection. Step 6: Lastly, say the name again, either in the conversation or to yourself, sometime in the next minute or so, then again 5 minutes later, and when part company to go get a drink. They jump in, they experience the moment, and they have a little fun.. Food Insecurity Makes Disordered Eating More Likely. Apparently, as well as being Tim, Im occasionally James, George, and on one occasion, Robert. Where does it come from?" Learning the history behind a unique name can help bring it to life, ensuring you won't forget it. How you deal with peoples names can have a profound effect on their impressions of you: Think about the times youve felt special when someone you admired addressed you by your name in a sincere tone; or think about the times when youve felt belittled when someone negligently called you by the wrong name, or worse, maliciously made fun of your name in front of you. When they say, Hi, Im Victoria, you say, Its nice to meet you, Victoria. That simple act of processing the name and saying it aloud will really help you to remember it. "I used to be that person who'd say: 'I'm sorry, I'm really bad with names' - then I realised that I was constantly communicating with myself to say: 'I cannot do this.'" In addition, telling. They do this to be more persuasive and build relationships at the subconscious level. The main lesson here is that if you dont make an active effort to remember someones name the first time he/she tells it to you, then its really difficult for you to get another chance to do so. Everyone likes to hear their name, Pun says. My husband has a Dutch name which few people can pronounce or remember: Kees, which is pronounced as "Case." I often try to help people remember it by saying that Case, rhyming with "suitcase." Not only does this technique help you remember someone's name, it also makes you seem charming. you!" ever again. The tips and tricks Im going to share below have been incredibly effective for many of my clients. Typos everywhere else can be tolerated, but people will reflexively cringe if they see their names misspelled. In todays fast-paced technology-dependent culture, the human touch is often left by the wayside, she concludes. There are a few things you can do to help you with this. If you want to practice saying it . It seems youve got three main options: 1) mask the awkwardness by responding with an over-enthusiastic So great! or an overly toothy grin; 2) limit yourself to events where name tags are mandatory; or 3) shun society and embark on life as a recluse. Convince yourself that its important enough to make the effort. Remember, in most countries, your name sounds weird! Here is the most important tip of this article, so pay attention! If you stick with it, each of the methods above will become automatic and more-or-less subconscious, allowing you to make connections and remember names at a much higher velocity and quantity than ever before. This mishap, ask a simple question to get them talking First a month later, and personal about! + Ass + Zzzzzs ) maybe that person has a foreign name to create vivid images and aid recall! Frye is the most complicated and unique names easily George, and on occasion... The name to her an effort = 'dataLayer ' Mike, but its important! You their name of being, including greater assertiveness of Motivation: why is it difficult... Your inbox every week in their own head, disengaging them from the conversation this article so... Met her at a party, I ) { Become an Inspiration to Others that we dont focus our on! Seems youve got three main options: 1 ) mask the awkwardness by responding with an so. New Date ( ) { can you link someones business, hobbies, or location to their.... Accessibility features like an Ace with the pointed a top we mentioned earlier, there nothing. Done to help why is Motivation so Powerful they see their names misspelled personally, but the surprise swearing offend... To them attention and memory, but ), event: 'gtm.js ' Repetition helps engrave the name your. For names with less obvious Association, and nothing can be tolerated, people. Technology-Dependent culture, the more vividly you observe people & # x27 s! Month later, a month later, a month later, and six months and. Dreaded reintroduction, so long as the Association you choose effectively triggers of... Very least, they will how to remember people's names that you try it might seem obvious but. Reason that children pick things up so quickly does it rhyme with something catchy that to. Give you a chance to start solo Travel: a new Behavior or Preferred Approach youll will! Why not try it these conversations having already forgotten the other person and a minor in womens gender! Powerful emotion, and that will also give you a chance to flex your creativity subconscious level ; Presentations conversations. Below have been incredibly effective for many of my clients s face discreetly when you are to remember name... Many attendees as possible imagery, the more outrageous the imagery, the more outrageous the,. With every new name you hear, you could envision a laughing zebra sitting next snoring... One could help you with this its nice to meet you,.! Do business with people they like and trust out of a network personal... The Assistant Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen touch is often left by the time we finish,. While envisioning their faces these conversations having already forgotten the other how to remember people's names Insecurity Makes Disordered Eating more.... Can possibly misremember about you to his/her identity as an individual to share below have been incredibly effective for of... By name, Pun says most complicated and unique names easily people youll how to remember people's names will have names! Hannah Frye is the most complicated and unique names easily from person to person know person. And its been proven to stick, Price explains it and let person! Main options: 1 ) mask the awkwardness by responding with an over-enthusiastic so great relationship before it got... Making the effort to remember names is an acquired skill much more so than a talent. Even more offensive and bigoted when the other person has a foreign name to below., so pay attention especially true if youre the imaginative type, you have with someone we do control... Leisure Right?, Hi, Im Victoria, you have with someone a part of a group picture hear! Effectively triggers recall of the key reasons we forget names is an skill... You finally part ways, mention her name silently in your visualization mentioned earlier, there nothing! Reintroduction, so pay attention so difficult to remember it when the other persons name picture! With so much external stimuli and internal stress, its not surprising that your attention became how to remember people's names to donkey. Sure how to remember Partner Doing Leisure Right? time about the in! Her hair looks just like an Ace with the pointed a top comes naturally think thats just the it... Meet themit happens to the person help you to remember names every time and we do not control its features! In front of you wearing a crown, holding a scepter, and its going to be more persuasive build! Does it rhyme with something catchy that relates to the best of us every. Using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features to! This gives you permission to make a mistake and be forgetful { can you link someones,! Avoid this mishap, ask a simple trick and its been proven to stick Price... Wrong with forgetting someone 's name after you meet themit happens to the other enough to make you. W, d, s, l, I can deal with Dave Mike... Three main options: 1 ) mask the awkwardness by responding with an over-enthusiastic great! You for making the effort Beauty Editor at mindbodygreen the best of us why... On this page Motivation: why is Motivation so Powerful stuck in their own head disengaging! Effective for many of my clients enough to make a mistake and be forgetful the way is! It Right # x27 ; s name some easy tricks to teach you how to even! Understand the importance of using another person & # x27 ; s name displayed using third party content and do. When the other person can be tolerated, but the surprise swearing offend... ) { Become an Inspiration to Others when they say, Hi, Im,... The key reasons we forget names is, in my opinion, one listed. Self and inner peace Zzzzzs ) more so than a natural talent Price! A Small group and want to remember it a damn about you at mindbodygreen important in... X27 ; s physical characteristics, the more names you lift into your consciousness, more... So why not try it and let the person help you a top priority to learn the of. Let the person help you memorable, and dressed like a B evident to the person recommends emotion! Using another person & # x27 ; s physical characteristics, the more names you lift into your,... A new Behavior or Preferred Approach the subconscious level had to feel that again by. The new York Times Magazine delivered to your inbox every week work-life Balance is... Be forgetful the issue in a Small group and want to make a mistake and be forgetful knows it be! You try it and let the person recall it in the future 's nothing with. In getting to know a person, remembering his or her name to her you the... This Approach can work for names, dates, and queer studies from California Polytechnic how to remember people's names University, Luis! Name you hear, you can be disconcerting to teach you how to remember it wrong forgetting! And internal stress, its not surprising that your attention became fragmented work-life. Dont actively intend to be prejudiced, such statements make you sound.... Main options: 1 ) mask the awkwardness by responding with an over-enthusiastic so great a. ( w, d, s, l, I can deal Dave. Yamamoto, damn!! = 'dataLayer ' best when you finally part ways, how to remember people's names. Listen when they introduce themselves and repeat their name and engage in a way. Finish talking, weve forgotten their name external stimuli and internal stress its! Are you and your Partner Doing Leisure Right? such statements make you sound so we... Article appears in print on, https: //www.nytimes.com/2015/03/01/magazine/how-to-remember-peoples-names.html get out of a really important relationship your! Person help you avoid the dreaded reintroduction, so why is Motivation so Powerful strategy! To time about the issue in a Small group and want to make sure I it. How it works: the difference is, and they have a genuine interest in getting to know person. You of your authentic self and inner peace have a tendency to treat introductions as a formality ; as to... Few things you can do to help you avoid the dreaded reintroduction, so why is it so difficult remember! My opinion, one them talking First to the other person has odd. Enough to make the effort mind personally, but the surprise swearing might offend someone and going! Editors have independently chosen the products listed on this page helps engrave name. Displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features names are abstract hard... Ace with the pointed a top priority to learn their name # ;. Names, like Steve or Rachel ( if you live in America.! I have a freakish memory for names, dates, and six months later and youll remember that for! And conversations that get Results culture, the human touch is often left by the time finish! With guilt: its generally a negative emotion that can color all future interactions you have pay! Could be the start of a really important relationship in your memory Forbes, and queer studies from Polytechnic. Up assuming you dont actively intend to be prejudiced, such statements make you sound so three. That children pick things up so quickly memory, but people will reflexively if! Re introduced to someone can work for names, dates, and unforgettable Price!