He said its not me its the pregnancy, and he's concerned about the long term effects to my body after seeing videos of post partum bodies and C-section scars. my hubby doesn't want to be intimate that much really. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! - what to do? Lets look at some common reasons you may feel like your husband doesnt find you attractive anymore. After being married for a while, it can almost feel like the two of you have merged into a single, amorphous creature, without independent thoughts or feelings. This low self-esteem makes you concerned about your husbands feelings toward you. Being best friends with your lover is essential, but you should always retain that component of attraction with each other. What Can You Do When Your Husband Says He Is Done With You. You are growing life and doing the most wonderful thing your body can do. If you notice some of these signs, theres no need to panic right now. Your Husband Acts Unhappy to Be Out with You, 8. I know I should talk to him about this, it usually resolves things, but he has had a historically low libido throughout our relationship and I'm who act like their mothers, either. I don't know what to do or if theres even anything I can do. All sorts of other things, likeanxiety, stressabout other parts of life, work-related problems, etc., may be causing this communication breakdown. But if it becomes a pattern, lack of attraction and love may be the reason. I've never been with anyone besides my husband. Why It Happens and What to Do, The Essential Checklist Of 65 Tough Relationship Questions Every Couple Should Ask, 15+ Surprising Signs Your Marriage May Be Heading for Divorce. What to Expect supports Group Black Opens a new window and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. I know from my previous pregnancies that he doesn't like women with bellyfat. They may be thinner, younger, more shapely, or just altogether different. Although it can be devastating to feel as though your husband is no longer attracted to or interested in you, it is by no means a death sentence for your marriage, and it doesnt necessarily mean that he doesnt love you anymore; it could just indicate that the two of you need to make yourselves and your marriage a higher priority. But if that is gone from your relationship, the romance meter only drops and it is possible that your husband is losing interest in you. Girl, get yourself a vibrator and guess who isnt getting their *** sucked for a looooong time. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. They might be small fights, such as arguing over what to eat for dinner, or more substantial fights, questioning why the two of you are even together. Getting older etc. Go out to dinner with only a book for company, or send your husband off on a weekend trip with his siblings. He May Feel Inferior. But well, not really.He likes my big boobs but that's all.It hurts. He might think you are the one who is not sexually attracted to husband anymore. Stop saying, My husband is not attracted to me anymore to your friends over Cosmos and go and say it out loud to him. He doesn't say much but what he says is enough. this is so so nice to hear. Feeling good about yourself, though, is an important part of being a healthy person. He no longer touches you. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. I told him those and how it made me felt and he just got quiet. When the romantic attraction is lost, your partner may start to focus more on himself rather than putting your needs or the marriage first. Fortunately, many marriages can be rescued from this-and many marriages experience this type of distance without ever getting near divorce, but it takes hard work and willingness from both sides (fingers crossed). Cheating is a massive breach of trust between a husband and wife. In some cases,lovecan wane because one or both partners "let go" of their physical appearance. Please let me love you. But it doesn't sound convinced. I don't find myself beautiful most of the times anyway. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. The science is still out on what exactly happens to men's sex drive when their wife is pregnant. If you feel good about yourself, whether this is followed by increased attraction from your partner or not, taking care of your mental health is the most important thing you can try to do. If so, it may be a sign hes not as attracted to you as he once was. So what happens when the initial attraction is no longer a part of your marriage? This is basically my last resort before considering divorce. He may need to come to terms with his own mental and emotional needs. I would have a conversation about this and how youre feeling. He may be starting to feel trapped. I got very upset a few weeks ago and we had a good talk. Scan this QR code to download the app now. My husband is the opposite Im on pelvic rest but he is in love with my pregnant body lol. and find some maternity lingerie, That is a good idea. After our honeymoon my husband had a group video call with his best friends. He Can't Unsee It. Get your dose of relationship advice from Bonobology right in your inbox. So. Unless he picked up an additional job to hide an affair, it would be hard for him to hide since his check direct deposits into my bank account and I control the household finances. I wasn't up for sex at the first trimester really, because I had very strong smell aversions, also my hubby stank wven when showered freshly. If I wasn't happy with him I would just leave him. And too embarrassing. His own hobbies seem to keep him occupied. While body changes are absolutely a truth, there are a few other things to consider. Simple gestures like kissing, cuddling, or even just holding your hand are indicators that a guy is still attracted to . After I hit around the 12 week mark of my pregnancy, he stopped initiating sex or responding to my sexual advances. My husband told her that he loved me and that we had a great honeymoon and that Im beautiful on the inside and he said you cant have it all. Is he frequently checking their watch to see when the outing will end? And then I know he likes me skinny. Has this become more of an uncomfortable situation because hes not reciprocating? Earlier he used to get all hyped up about going to trivia night at the Main Street bar with you and your favorite couple. If he truly loves you, hell try to listen and understand where youre coming from. After 20 minutes of back and forth, he finally admitted he isn't stressed about debt and isnt having any money problems, he just isn't attracted to me anymore. Here are 17 worrying signs your husband doesnt find you attractive anymore. Its not you against him. Your my husband is not attracted to me anymore hunch might have a reason if this is true in your relationship. Not only was he a riot and extremely good at the game, but it was also a great bonding time for the two of you as a couple. This is my first (very planned.. very on purpose) pregnancy. So a small amount of jealousy is actually crucial to keep the romance meter up! After our honeymoon my husband had a group video call with his best friends. This slowdown doesnt necessarily mean your husband doesnt find you attractive. Likely, you and your husband were once very attracted to each other. Couples therapy is a great way to reclaim that attraction, build your marriage up again and set those important priorities in a relationship to make sure it doesnt fall apart over and over. Maybe if you loosen the reins, he will notice you more as you work on yourself and come crawling back sooner or later. Few, if any, people seek a romantic partner without the presence of some form of physical magnetism. One of the signs your partner isnt attracted to you is when theyve lost all interest in anything that you have to say to them. When you and your husband go out together, does he seem like he would rather be somewhere else? Husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. They either zone out, give you a response that isnt fitting at all or worst case, walk away from the conversation. Does anyone else struggle with boundaries around their partner's friends of the sex they are attracted to?My husband was single for a long time and has lots of female friends, most of whom he either had mutual flirtations or had a sexual relationship LONG POST ALERT I don't want to be a debbie downer. At some point, you might begin to feel as though the two of you are distant from one another. If you observe the signs your husband doesn't find you attractive anymore, take the time to romance one another. Its possible that his love is not real anymore. He should feel concerned about how you feel while promising to make changes to improve the marriage. How this emotion is felt and expressed is based on several factors, including age, gender, and intent. These are only some of the ways people show affection in a relationship and a marriage. Age completely transforms your body over time. "Quality" time together feels forced. But if he seems to know you too well and is annoyed by your interests and ideas, he may be drifting away from you. When initial attraction begins to wane in a marriage, sometimes your partner or husband might begin to direct his focus elsewhere, and sometimes he may even try to skirt the line of infidelity. my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. If your husband isnt showing appreciation for your appearance, its no wonder you dont feel confident about his desire for you. He might seem to feel uncomfortable around you physically, and you might feel almost starved for physical affection, as even small touches become less and less frequent. He doesnt even call me to ask what time Ill be home or when Im going to pick up the kids. Your Husband Sees You As His Friend, Not His Lover, 12. No more Honey, Im home! or, Are the kids asleep, yet? or even a, Whats for dinner? seems to escape his lips at this point. Still, being sexually attracted to your partner is considered by some to be the number one most important thing in the maintenance of a robust relationship with and healthy sex lives of you and your partner. As mentioned earlier, as you age, your wants, needs, and bodies change. Reddit, Inc. 2023. 2. Does your husband act like hes bored with your day-to-day life together? Getting to the root of the issue can help the situation and prevent marital complications. The Quality of Your Conversations is Questionable, 4. I asked him to go stay with a friend for a night or two so I can have some space and he's staying at his sisters, who called me and asked what happened because we never really fight. Or when he gets worked up about that guy from work who keeps texting you under the pretext of that project you two had to work on? This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. He doesnt really care to make conversation, take part in your life and is often just too distracted by other things. You might notice that your husband no longer holds your hand, puts his arm around you, or strokes your hair as you watch TV. Related Reading: Can Healthy Jealousy Help You Build Stronger Relationships? Second he might be acting weird because he doesnt want to hurt the baby by doing sex. It's possible that his aloofness doesn't have much to do with you at all. If he genuinely loves you despite this challenge, hell be interested in seeing what can be done and how you can work together to improve the relationship. Its nice when your partner feels a little jealous, because it makes you feel wanted and desired in the relationship. When a man adores you, he finds ways to verbally express it. I try to not be too bothered by it. So far I've literally only gained 25-30lbs and I'm still working out and working full time. I might get skinny again, but not younger, so that is my fear what is in 5 to 10 years? And perhaps thats where you and your husband are lagging behind. It creates a burst of feel-good chemicals and creates bonds that have been consistently linked to increased life expectancies, better chances of contentment, and better health overall. Our sex drives can peak and slow down at specific points in our life. Common Reasons Your Husband Seems Uninterested in Sex After Baby is Born. I'm newly married. He doesn't say much but what he says is enough. You should be with someone that values their time with you because of how attractive and fun you are. Check them out: 9. And they aren't sexually attracted to women (even supermodels!) Remember your passions and pursue your interests. Rather, proceed slowly with some of the tips we outline here. Mornings, evenings, afternoons, late-nightsit doesnt matter how many lights are on or who is up or whats cooking in the kitchen. It can mean interest in a sexual encounter, a relationship, or a long-term commitment, such as marriage. That spark you initially feel is what gets the romance going. 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