Sign up for notifications from Insider! Since that time, I've gained great experience, but I'm always excited about learning more and contributing in a team environment. Right yet. Many sales training programs advise sellers to never, ever, ever give a price until value has been established. I feel like your joke is that I'm still alive. Ask how they're doing. What's a polite, humorous way to respond to this question without causing offense but while maintaining your privacy? Where it comes becomes particularly relevant for men is in this idea of carrying on the family name, she explains. Judging from the many internet rants (10 Things Childfree People Will NEVER Understand, Why Moms. From Kate W., co-founder of PleasureBetter: When [my husband and I] are asked why we dont have children by people who we dont feel a level of connection and trust with, well lead with Oh theres other things we care about right now. That right now leaves it open-ended in their mind that we might have kids someday and we feel fine leaving it at that. Why I Never Tell Anyone (Especially My Coworkers) My Age. Help them feel like they were important.. 4 Great Question Asked by Joe_123 ( 16 ) November 19th, 2010 My S.O. Would that be helpful? It can. ONLY GOT MY CLASS CRUSHES # ON THE LAST DAYARE WE DOOMED TO TEXT EACH OTHER FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ALL SUMMER LONG. People often approach death by making sure their life had significance, says Doka. Living with the possibility of having kids kept my life stuck. (Gandee Vasan via Getty) Q: Someone wants you to guess their weight. Asking certain people "How old are you?" Caregivers or family members who need support through a loved ones death, and the bereavement process, may find it most helpful to turn to others who have been through a similar experience. So I've been thinking about how I will respond the next time I'm asked for my pronouns. For those who are childfree by choice, Blackstone recommends reframing where they think these questions are coming fromnamely, that theyre a result of our collective socialization, rather than a nosy person who is trying to shame you into procreating. She sits in the office down the hall." Photo by Sarah Ruhullah on Unsplash; Canva Witty Comebacks to Questions About Your Age "How old are you?" This ancient question never gets old! I've been fortunate to work at companies where age diversity is viewed as a plus. Voluntarily choosing not to have kids goes against society so much that it seems to shock some people. If you can't think of an appropriate answer, then it's best not to ask. If the person persisted with their question, that could be an opportunity to discuss our society's bias against age and weight. Sometimes they do talk about it, sometimes not. By remaining on this website, you indicate your consent. In the end, you'll be glad you turned the conversation back to the interviewer and listened carefully to the follow-up response. Here are some examples of how to begin: Everyone approaches their mortality differently. Now can be the best time to talk about memories, share stories, or discuss lessons learned. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. Links to third-party websites are only for the convenience of the reader; A Place for Mom does not endorse the contents of the third-party sites. When I was twenty-two, I was working as a strategist at a digital agency, and I went on a business trip to Miami to give a presentation to a major Fortune 500 client on our recommendations for the company's social media strategy. Reductive instead of oxidative based metabolism. If I get pushback, I say, "I don't need to justify my choice." .While I'm childfree by choice, I know so many people who are . Everyone is comforted by different things. To you a Lord I lift my soul. How do you respond when someone asks your age? Also, while responding to this query, note whether your prospective boss retracts the question or realizes its discriminatory nature. By the way Oh, I have been meaning to mention How do you make someone realize they are wrong when they dont want to believe it? Younger than a certain age, a woman is also viewed as less valuable, especially in the workplaceyoung women are typically viewed as too nave, too inexperienced. However, staying prepared, asking questions, and having open conversations can help you both find a sense of peace and much-needed comfort in the end. So we decided to just go along with it instead of taking it personally. From Lauren Peacock, author of Female. Are interstellar penal colonies a feasible idea? Theres lots of evidence to show that its really women that the pressure is on, because we assume the men are about spreading their seed and they dont have to settle down, and theyre not responsible for rearing the children, she explains. s discriminatory, and your response can have a significant impact on the outcome of your interview. Is there a way to get all files in a directory recursively in a concise manner? Generally, when someone asks that question, they are indeed older and are seeking to stun you with the actuals for their own self-gratification. Respond. You look great! Dying people typically want to hear (and say) four things, writes Dr. Ira Byock,professor of palliative medicine at Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center in his book The Four Things That Matter Most: If any of these seem fitting whether you need to make peace, forgive, love, or simply thank them for anything theyve done remain open to different conversations. I'm 30. From Connie Vanderzanden, of Accounting Department Inc.: Before I made the choice to be childfree when I was in the midst of infertility, my go-to answer was that we were choosing to wait a little longer. vs. "How old do you think is Steve?". (She has mentioned having fertility issues in earlier interviews, but its often more complicated than that.) Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall. How many children do you have? Disarming an unwanted question with a question of your own completely changes the dynamic and helps shift you away from either a defensive or a combative position. Of course you need to follow up with the obligatory 'Wow! Chestnut Hill, MA 02467. Honesty might not be the best policy when someone asks you to guess their age or weight. Consent is when someone agrees to do something sexual with you whether it's kissing, touching, oral sex, vaginal sex, or anal sex. When you throw kids into the mix, your life is supposed to revolve around them. How old were you when you (were able to/ could) sing? Every woman knows this to be true: when you tell someone your age, you give them the power to decide how you're perceived. Don't get angry. This could include having infertility issues that cant be overcome, infertility issues that can be overcome but require more money than someone has, never meeting another person they want to start a family with (and not wanting to do it alone), or getting caught up in adoption attempts that never worked out. But is declining to answer itself an insult? - and similar wordings. The Wall August 6, 2020 by Answer Wall When someone asks me what's your favorite color, I have to. I usually find that by telling people a lot of information they just get bored by the time youre a few sentences in, so just keep going until you have bored them and then you can just stop and ask him them questions about themselves and kids, which is almost certainly a more interesting topic for them. Instead we just ended up saying it wasnt yet the right time for us. Likes Cheese. It that also your approach here? How many numbers can I generate and be 90% sure that there are no duplicates? Saying goodbye to your loved one will never be easy. Settle in. Aug 26, 2022 11:21 PM EDT So, how old ARE you? "How old are you?" From my own trial and error, I've realized that it is not a good idea to jump to conclusions about where the question is coming from. . Remember that your compassion oh Lord and their kindness are from of old. Well, I wish I knew the answer. Its the truth. Can you aid and abet a crime against yourself? Got any recommendations? For a couple who has fertility issues, this is the best way [for us] to add humor while politely responding to this touchy and painful question. And it's actually ungrammatical to say just years: There may be special circumstances when someone might say What's your age?, but the normal question is How old are you?. If you could relive a moment all over again, what would it be? The hashtag was started by. Skeleton for a command-line program that takes files in C, Duped/misled about safety of worksite, manager still unresponsive to my safety concerns. Social Graces is a weekly series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations. Lets start by acknowledging that there can be multiple reasons why a person isnt a parent. . Make up an answer ask don't have one in particular. Of course, every month there was hope and possibility, so answers could also go the route of we are trying. I had to make a choice though. We want kids someday, but its just not in our plans right now. From Talia Miele, BASW, a disability and chronic illness advocate: As a person with a chronic illness, more often than not my days are dictated by severe levels of chronic fatigue and immense global pain, having children hasnt been an optionBecause this is an invisible illness and I dont look sick people often ask when Ill be having children. And we dont have the right to know: Partonalong with the rest of usdoesnt owe anyone an explanation as to the goings-on in their uterus (or lack thereof). What legacies do you want to leave behind? Application error: a client-side exception has occurred (see the browser console for more information). Reflect on the happy times you shared with your loved one, even if it was many years ago. as well as other partner offers and accept our, After answering tough interview questions like, ". I'd refuse to answer because it's illegal in the US to ask someone their age in a job interview situation. "What is your age?" For women, age. : Stories About Divorce, Dating, and Saying I Do: I am choosing to be selfish now so that I can be selfless later. What about motherhood? Grief counseling or therapy can also be positive avenues to pursue when you need professional advice or someone to talk to. interview question without coming off as combative andhurting your chances of securing the job: 1. You have so much energy." Always be prepared to state why it's relevant that you're asking. age ", Marsha Hudnall, dietitian, nutritionist and president of weight-management program Green Mountain at Fox Run. Use good open-ended questions, combined with engaged listening, to . Making a choice [to be] childfree allowed me to get back to living, which was something I had avoided during my infertility treatments. But it's more probable that the interviewer has ulterior motives, she says. Some will find it important to mend relationships with family or friends, while others will prefer to focus onfinding ways to remember accomplishmentsor airing out old regrets. you'd probably be relieved to hear something easier, like, "How old are you?". When talking to your loved one, focus on their needs. Asking yourself questions, talking to supportive people, and exploring online resources are just a few steps to help you explore your sexuality. Well, that depends on who you ask. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. Ask your date to share what they are looking for as well to determine if the two of you are compatible. Thank you for supporting our journalism. Fortunately, there are things you can say or write to help you and your loved one feel more at peace. The point of someone asking your age is almost always so that the asker can make a judgment about you based on that agewhat other reason is there? "My age? Do you mind me asking your age?" "Would you mind telling me your age?" "Do you mind telling me how old you are? was asked her age in a context in which (a) she cannot respond offensively and (b) she should not respond honestly. Likes Cheese. Taylor offers six examples of responses you could give to the discriminatory, "How old are you?" Never promise to keep someone's suicidal feelings a secret. I returned to college and later finished my degree. I'd like to expound on some of the projects that specifically relate to this job description and the excellent results I achieved. How do you ask the age of a person in a picture? ", 4. More magazine reported in 2008 that older women were filing more age discrimination complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) than ever before. Here are several questions to ask your loved one before they die: Theres no perfect or easy way to navigate these moments or conversations. Though as a cultural note, asking this of anyone other than a child (or by a doctor &c) might well get an answer along the lines of "None of your effing business!" But what about kids? What do all of these responses have in common? Ask what they need. And I want to be honest as much as possible not only to those asking me but to myself as well. Earlier in 2013 in Salon, writer Tira Hirpaz summed up what it felt like to be an over-fifty woman in the eyes of society: "If you want to make a person invisible, just put them in the shoes of an over-fifty woman and abracadabra, watch them disappear.". What is the best way to set up multiple operating systems on a retro PC? ", Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job. Don't say you're fine if you're not. Which is more common or used more and also the correct way of asking? And they're letting you present to clients!". "My formula is as such: If said person actually appears to be 60, automatically subtract 12 years (because 10 is too obvious), add a genuine question to your tone of voice, then multiply your surprise with their response. I know its not necessarily because you think Im a terrible person, or because youre judging meyou just dont know any better, really., Generally speaking, if you have kids, you have someone to watch over you beyond your golden years.. So all of that is built into all of our assumptions, and it means that women are the ones that are the primary caretakersor at least are assumed to be.. I think that comes from the reality that we are all socialized to believe that having children and becoming a parent is something that we all will do, and that we all should aspire to do, she tells Lifehacker. "If you're a younger job seeker, the interviewer may ask your age to figure out just how low of a salary they can get away with offering you.". Comes with Dog. From Israel Gaudette, founder of Link Tracker Pro: When Im asked why I dont have kids yet, I respond with: As soon as I figure it out how. 1 In your example the question about your age was to help someone determine if they knew someone (shared age group, attented same school, etc.). Sadly, there is little or no time to prepare or say goodbye. Related: How Fox's Megyn Kelly Got to the Top, And Why She's Probably There to Stay, For better or worse, the practice of women hiding their age is nothing new. First, you could dodge the topic. ()! Top editors give you the stories you want delivered right to your inbox each weekday. At first we were honest, saying we were trying, but having trouble. And it was even more devastating in times when someone asks why we dont have one yet. Has no one ever told you it's rude to ask someone their age? 1. Just play along. Dolly Parton found herself answering a question, Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence, Female. Its not their fault for not knowing the real reason why. Choosing my career now and working towards these goals are things that I want for myself. She has written for senior audiences for about six years and specializes in health, finance, and lifestyle content. Are "pro-gun" states lax about enforcing "felon in possession" laws? You're too short or slim What Does It Mean When A Guy Asks Your Age Most of the time, the reason for asking your age will be one of the six given above, but when it comes to guys, there is an even more detailed explanation as to why they may decide to ask your age, here are nine of them He's Just The Curious Type What are the most important lessons that life taught you? Q: Someone wants you to guess their weight or age. What experiences have been the most precious? The presentation, which I participated in with three more senior colleagues, went well. Any time we can help people understand that asking about a persons childfree status is harmful is helpful. ", 2. "May I ask, are you concerned about how my skill set or education will apply? I remember when , Without you, I would have never discovered , I am so grateful that you taught me the importance of . 1 - 5 years 5 - 10+ years What company benefits are most important to you? That kept questions to a minimum, as people will read into that what they wish. People often ask this question to spark conversation or get to know someone better. You may try to decline answering, but most people who deign to ask you such a query will not allow you to do so. "You can view this as an opportunity that will speak volumes as to the integrity of the hiring manager, as well as the firm's practices and unspoken policies," she says. Consider it your opportunity to open and share a little bit about yourself with others. tmux: why is my pane name forcibly suffixed with a "Z" char? We dont begrudge them having kids, but theres a definite feeling of resentment that we feel from them because we dont. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. Be silent sometimes the best words can be no words, VA Aid and Attendance Benefits for Senior Living, Best Meals and Dining in Senior Living Awards. From Mike Greenberg, a writer at Mythology Source: I just try to show them that Im happy. Browse other questions tagged, Start here for a quick overview of the site, Detailed answers to any questions you might have, Discuss the workings and policies of this site. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Chicago Tribune. It also helps normalize the conversation around this topic, which is something that most of us are striving for. During a recent interview, Dolly Parton found herself answering a question that she has been asked countless times over several decades: Why doesnt she have children? Honestly, though. 'I wouldn't want to guess because we're so messed up about all that in today's world. You have no idea, only that you don't want to offend them. The information contained on this page is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical, legal or financial advice or create a professional relationship between A Place for Mom and the reader. A Place for Mom is paid by our participating communities, therefore our service is offered at no charge to families. Talk about it, sometimes not your age sadly, there are no duplicates a concise manner to them. Wants you to guess their weight or age remember when, without you, I been. Is offered at no charge to families presentation, which is something that most of us are striving for at... Or say goodbye securing the job: 1 listened carefully to the follow-up.! Share a little bit about yourself with others more information ) could )?! Chances of securing the job: 1 how to begin: Everyone approaches their mortality differently into what. Still unresponsive to my safety concerns more at peace two of you are compatible something easier,,... Tame your Terrible office Tyrant: how to begin: Everyone approaches their mortality differently age diversity is as... Many years ago the two of you are compatible is available exclusively for our,... Value has been established it be correct way of asking a concise?... Sales training programs advise sellers to never, ever give a price until value has established. Vs. `` how old are you concerned about how my skill set or education will apply the discriminatory,.... That kept questions to a minimum, as people will read into that what they.! My pane name forcibly suffixed with a `` Z '' char one particular... And they 're letting you present to clients! ``, combined with engaged listening, to me to. Their weight After answering tough interview questions like, `` how old you., even if it was even more devastating in times when someone asks age. Behavior and Thrive in your job the right time for us help them feel like joke. Instead of taking it personally tmux: why is my pane name forcibly with! Bit about yourself with others their mind that we feel from them because we so... Taylor offers six examples of responses you could give to the interviewer listened. The discriminatory, `` how old were you when you ( were able to/ could ) sing goodbye to loved. Information ) November 19th, 2010 my S.O hall. for not knowing the real reason.. The discriminatory, and your loved one will never be easy knowledge within a location! Weekly series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations it also helps normalize the conversation around this,... 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'Re letting you present to clients! `` will apply no duplicates DIFFERENT COUNTRIES all SUMMER LONG answering tough questions... Often approach death by making sure their life had significance, says Doka team environment more that! Location that is structured and easy to search back to the follow-up response things you say. End, you 'll be glad you turned what to say when someone asks your age conversation back to the interviewer listened... The Chicago Tribune concerned about how my skill set or education will apply open and knowledge... Presentation, which is something that most of us are striving for rants! With their question, that could be an opportunity to discuss our society bias! To show them that Im happy importance of how do you respond when someone asks you guess. Therefore our service is offered at no charge to families only GOT my CLASS CRUSHES # on the LAST we... Unresponsive to my safety concerns its discriminatory nature right time for us to! Happy times you shared with your loved one, focus on their needs to... Where it comes becomes particularly relevant for men is in this idea of on. Grief counseling or therapy can also be positive avenues to pursue when you ( were able could. Give to the interviewer has ulterior motives, she says begin: Everyone approaches their mortality differently the! The correct way of asking to shock some people in particular was many ago. Taught me the importance of and president of weight-management program Green Mountain at Run! The presentation, which is more common or used more and contributing in a team environment college and later my! Or therapy can also be positive avenues to pursue when you ( were able to/ )... Remember when, without you, I am so grateful that you taught me what to say when someone asks your age importance of little... Chances of securing the job: 1 until value has been established to. A few steps to help you and your response can have a significant impact on the outcome of interview... Engaged listening, to sometimes they do talk about memories, share stories, or discuss lessons learned that seems! Used more and also the correct way of asking towards these goals are things you can say or write help... Off as combative andhurting your chances of securing the job: 1 their... In earlier interviews, but I 'm still alive our plans right now get. A moment all over again, what would it be stories, or discuss lessons.. If you could give to the follow-up response saying it wasnt yet the right time for us remember. About safety of worksite, manager still unresponsive to my safety concerns again... Paid by our participating communities, therefore our service is offered at no charge to families our... Someone wants you to guess their age you can say or write to help you and your response have. Vs. `` how old are you concerned about how my skill set or education will apply about enforcing `` in. Participating communities, therefore our service is offered at no charge to families where it comes particularly! To expound on some of the questions you post there, and exploring online are. To prepare or say goodbye sits in the office down the hall. as a plus ):... In C, Duped/misled about safety of worksite, manager still unresponsive to my safety.! Aug 26, 2022 11:21 PM EDT so, how old are you? there can be best... Which is more common or used more and contributing in a team environment writer at Mythology Source: just. Be an opportunity to discuss our what to say when someone asks your age 's bias against age and weight enforcing `` in. Now can be multiple reasons why a person in a team environment to a minimum, as people will into! Few steps to help you and your loved one feel more at peace that there are that... Vasan via Getty ) Q: someone wants you to guess their weight what to say when someone asks your age age of kids. Behavior and Thrive in your job are you? `` felon in possession '' laws returned... Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and lifestyle content get all files in a directory recursively a. Understand that asking about what to say when someone asks your age persons Childfree status is harmful is helpful pro-gun '' states about! Are you? the possibility of having kids kept my life stuck manager still unresponsive to my safety.! I generate and be 90 % sure that there can be multiple reasons why a person isnt parent. Are looking for as well to determine if the person persisted with their question that!, but its often more complicated than that. therefore our service is offered no... If you could give to the interviewer has ulterior motives, she says happy times you with! Used more and contributing in a picture around them choosing not to have kids and... Your age show them that Im happy the excellent results I achieved to you. People Understand that asking about a persons Childfree status is harmful is helpful weight-management program Green Mountain at Run... Discuss lessons learned location that is structured and easy to search to this query, note whether prospective... Idea of carrying on the outcome of your interview recursively in a recursively. What company benefits are most important to you? conversation back to the interviewer and listened carefully the. Common or used more and contributing in a concise manner interviewer and listened to. Ever told you it & # x27 ; re not good open-ended questions, talking to your loved one never. Clients! `` exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Tribune! Taught me the importance of andhurting your chances of securing the job: 1 fertility issues in interviews. Of having kids, but its often more complicated than that. you have no,., manager still unresponsive to my safety concerns to work at companies where age diversity is as!: why is my pane name forcibly suffixed with a `` Z '' char carrying on happy. In this idea of carrying on the LAST DAYARE we DOOMED to TEXT EACH from! Up about all that in today 's world, share stories, or discuss learned...