2023 RelationshipExplained. Rather than adapting to the situation, it's nice just to have things as they were when she was younger again - they can provide for her, make food, and take her downtown for ice-cream. They are needed to stay in a position of authority to keep the home and their family in order. But if thats not happening, I think youre being a bit unreasonable. She falls into the first category while you stay in the second one. This also shows that at that moment, you are not the guys greatest or primary concern. However, in real life, not all family secrets are horror-inducing. I think its a little weird to see her parents every single week (My parents live about 40 miles away and I see them maybe once a month, but we arent Southern and we have Facebook and text). She loves them, and it is a normal thing to do. We have two dogs. There doesnt seem to be a good solution because as you can see most people side with her and her relationship with her mother. I'm 31 and my gf is 23. something random . New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. With the exception of 1 week when I went out of town (and of course when we are working), we have spent every day and night together since our first date. I decided to break up with her because I know this would just destroy out relationship anyways. Most people lose out on that because of financial problems. tl;dr: Our lives are dictated by my girlfriend's family. I sat her down in the car and started telling her how I felt while crying uncontrollably, I love this girl but I just cant be in a relationship where the other person isnt available for me. Your girlfriend has lost her enthusiasm for the mainstream way of living and finds everything dull. Maybe start out by going every second weekend so it doesnt come across as you not liking her parents anymore and abruptly changing the routine. Youve both been married before why would you take such a big step in a relationship without being fully ready? I am envious of your partner. Xper 4 Age: 34. My Girlfriend Always Accuses Me of Cheating and Lying (SOLVED). The guy does not want to miss any opportunity to show his affection for you. Dont stereotype activities among gender roles because he surely is not. Most parents are authoritative in nature. That doesnt mean she was allowed to do whatever she wanted. And I even have a toddler to feed and bathe and get ready for bed whom I dont have help with on those nights my husband is at his dads, and, whatever. I would probably go about half the time and be uncomfortable, and the other half of the time I would not go and feel guilty. She stays over and goes home in the morning to help take care of the baby. or. The excitement of the first few months wane away too quickly, and thats when the relationship faces its first test. Now when I ask her to make more time for me, I see her suffering because she wants to be there for her sister and niece. I never saw it. This is something you two can do together if you wish to stay with your girlfriend in the future. It suggests that he is grateful for you. Familial bonds are important to me. If she seems too attached, there must be a reason. February 19, 2015, 10:33 am. We split holidays pretty equally which I like. When He Cooks for You (Here What It Means). So, you have to ask yourself if this part of her life is not something you could imagine as being part of yours. WWS! It was very uncomfortable for me because I cant unwind with my girlfriends mother over my shoulder every night. I agree she can visit them if she likes, but its too much to take up someone elses time too. 7. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Moving for someone is a big deal, it seems like you expected her to be your everything once you moved, at least from your letter. It is our catch up time. That might make her come back to you. She misses her childhood days and spurs her love for them even more. Just dont rely on her uniquely to fill your need for human interaction, make sure to distinguish between what you need from her specifically and what you may need in terms of a social life more generally. If she is leaning towards the second category, there can be a problem that needs your attention for the well-being of your relationship with her. Find a local watering hole to hang out at. If you want to stay in the relationship, be the bigger person and change your approach. You could move on and find someone else and they may not have the same issue but is that issue going to be any better??? She also works with her mother, so it's really a 24/7 scenario. And youre dragging her to multiple therapists over it? But that means I dont get to see her on her days off until after 8:30pm. Maybe she could excuse herself to another room or switch to a quick phone call where you dont have to be included. if they complained they never said anything?? Is it the fact that she wont schedule anything else on a Sunday night? If you have a problem with what she tells them, you need to talk to your girlfriend about what you want shared. She loves spending time with her family. Its not as if she is needed because the baby would otherwise be alone, but rather that she wants to help the sister and spend time with the baby. I think a lot of commenters above have offered some suggestions on how to deal. My Girlfriend Likes to Be Controlled: Reasons and Next Steps, My Husband Raises His Voice at Me (10 Effective Tips), My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me to Focus on Herself (Here's Why). I like my Sundays to get ready for the week, if youre expected to go along and dont want to spend Sundays like that I would suggest what Wendy did, find something else to do. She acts very differently when she's here - more like a 16/17 year old than an adult. LW, You made the remark that you have only spent two holidays with your family and you moved three hours to be with your girlfriend. If your girlfriend spends less time with you than she used to, then this could be a sign that she's losing interest in you. That dynamic was set long before you met her, and its not going to change much, if at all, because you came along. In the friend group, we wanted to spend a lot of time together, all of us, but my girlfriend just keep choosing her friends over her best friends of 7+ year or her boyfriend. (As for the frequency of visiting ones parents, Im definitely on the side of once a week is too much, but this is basically just about personal preference. All rights reserved. A lot of that has to do with people trying to intrude and control my life when I was younger, so I have no tolerance for it now that I am old enough to make my own decisions. I also think you should talk to her about spending more time with your family, if that is what you are really aiming at with this letter. Too Much Time with Her Parents. You shouldnt have moved in with someone who youre this incompatible with. The military is all about learning to operate as a fully independent adult without parental interference. Anyways, on a more serious note, what did you expect when you moved so close to her in-laws? If my serious significant other didnt want to come, I would respect that, provided he could articulate a reason (not that I have the validate that reason). WWS. However, the problem arises when this attachment becomes an obsession. She had assumed we'd be eating with them. , he informed me he has arranged us to meet all his friends like in 10 minutes. It is just our family thing. If her family is hiding a malevolent secret, I think you should distance yourself from them (that includes your girlfriend) immediately. If she prefers to stay at home, you can cook her favorite foodand watch her favorite movie while having it. RedroverRedrover Its okay to feel uncomfortable when a friends family is around all the time. Thats great sounds like communicating with your girlfriend works! Now its harder because of kids and who moved etc. at my house when i was a kid it was for lunch/dinner after church. Since your gf sees her parents any damn time she pleases, it would seem rather unfair that she doesnt give you at least ONE major holiday at home a year. My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex (21 Things You Can Do). and if you need to ramp up your own social life. A third-person account can give new insights into their relationship. Read on. If this is a relatively new relationship, expecting her to trust you completely would be a foolish thought. I simply just point them out (and learn to play accordingly when I feel like it). If you want to spend more time with your gf at dinner, instead of telling her she shouldnt like her parents so much (which is going to go over well with no one), tell her that youd like to spend X amount of time with her at dinner. Awkward as hell. How much Time Should my Teenage Daughter Spend with her Boyfriend? She is clueless about the fact that her beloved family is manipulating her in every way. If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [emailprotected]. Have you ever watched the critically acclaimed 2017 horror movie calledGet Out? I moved 10 hours away from my parents at age 30, after living 5 minutes away my entire life, for my dream job in a coastal city. I know thats hindsight, and doesnt help you much with your current problem. Is my [25 m] girlfriend [23 f] spending too much time with her family? Its not surprising that they address her for your personal business, youve probably made it clear that youre not going to be open with them. It stars Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, and Bradley Whitford, among others. I need to feel like Im not being fit in to some busy schedule. That doesnt mean she is not in love with you. Ask Amy. If things are exactly the same with her parents involvement, how does that make you feel? I just dont know if it will ever become anything more because she refuses to step down from any of the roles she is playing for her mother. She believes in family traditions, just like Marshall Eriksen fromHow I Met Your Mother. Anyway, good luck, and dont hate me. Its to bring up how you feel and ask someone to validate it than to try to get someone to agree that what THEY are feeing is wrong. Shes finely free around 8:30pm and comes over some nights, but at that point Im absolutely exhausted. If you guys are serious, and honestly, if youre living with her daughter you should be, is your military commission of the sort that means there is a possibility for short notice moves? She, too, dreamt of it in high school, but her grades were not that great. Yes. Relish your dish. DW Community Catch-up Thread (Formerly Anyone going on awesome dates?). So its a lose lose situation. On the weekend, I know my girlfriend is awake because she instantly FaceTimes her mother from bed, then her cousin. There is nothing wrong if you realize after moving to be with her its not going to work out. Heck, I would think its weird if my significant other had a problem with it and didnt want me to. That might make her believe that you are, after all, the companion she needs. Not that its an excuse, I am having a really should shitty week and may be a little sensitive. Its only expected that, considering you both have good relationship with your respective families, shed be able to see her parents more often than you see yours. Occasionally, if something comes up, Sunday dinner is canceled, but for the most part it is a standing date. Explain it as you taking some time for yourself or for a hobby. You can sit it out. You sound really grumpy! You've already talked to your boyfriend about your feelings and he doesn't think he's doing anything "weird.". If you would like her to spend less time eating dinners with her family, suggest she cut back to the Monday family supper you all enjoy together and maybe one additional dinner without you (and then you could use that time to do something you enjoy on your own). But they understand that its too much for him, and they dont mind if he excuses himself to go be by himself for awhile. We took a trip to Boston with her daughter and her cousins family. My bf sees his parents every Sunday evening for dinner or a movie. Its one dinner a week. Therefore, being an ideal companion can be a lot of pressure. Your girlfriend is attached to her family because of the same reasons. If youre otherwise happy with your girlfriend I wouldnt turn this into a basic compatibility question. Also, not sure which holidays are important to you & your family, but 2 major holidays in 2 years together sounds pretty reasonable, given the distance. They took her on camping trips and weekend hikes to the local hilltop. I remember once, after a long weekend with my exs extended family (cousins and uncles and aunts and all that!) If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [emailprotected]. Her family is such a big part of her life, probably because of your distant behavior. Lol maybe just me? Hi there, I'm after an outside perspective of my situation. Its hard being the only Jew at midnight mass. I brought up once that I wished we would go see my parents more (an hour drive instead of 20 minutes) when he was asking if I wanted to go to dinner at his parents place, and it didnt cause a fight or anything, but he didnt understand why I was getting upset at it. I told her that I need her to change her work schedule so that she has Sundays off, because so far. I dont get along with her or my wife brother. Join a club or group that meets Sunday evenings. Your girlfriend is too attached to her family, and that is perfectly normal. Get out now and run for your life! But then is this issue really about the family dinners? She seems too attached to her family because she no longer finds the companion she needs in you. Or both? He never goes home during that time of the year to see his mom. Exactly. My husband is much like you, LW. The one time you expressed a concern, it was validated, and behavior was changed. You love her so much because she loves you in the way no one has ever loved you. Relationships can be one of the best things we experience in life. THAT, more than your girlfriends relationship with her family, is the biggest issue here. If not, follow Wendys advice.. You should give your girlfriend the freedom to see her family every week if she wants to, even if you dont agree with it, you should at least accept this is how it is, if you love her. If hes being forced to go, that wouldnt be fun for him. If no, tell her immediately, because Im guessing that might be a dealbreaker for her. Is your husband spending more time with friends than before you were married? . It bothers me that she prefers her family rather than me. She lives about 10 minutes away. On the flip side, theres also nothing wrong with preferring a more lax visiting schedule with ones parents or in-laws. At least you tried. February 18, 2015, 12:54 pm. For me, it wouldnt even matter if it was mandatory or not. bittergaymark And in the future, make sure you know what youre getting into before you make another big step forward in a relationship! And LW is expected to attend. If she invests too much of her attention towards her family, you can always talk to her about that. . I like having alone time with my dad. Whether or not its a religious holiday for us, its a week that my brother has off school, and my sister/her fiance and my husband and my dad have off from work its still a convenient time for all of us to take a vacation and be together even if were not celebrating a holiday. If she is fine with going there on her own, you dont have the right to criticize her about the ways she chooses to relate to her own family. One other thing I should mention is that I moved nearly three hours to be with her and I have no friends or family in the city we live in. Her family is extremely close. If thats the case, LW, your gf is trying to include you in something that is exclusively for family (usually a pretty high honor). Who am I to judge their family? Our routine is already booked up unless we consciously opt out, which will usually create a weird atmosphere. . LW needs to make some new friends (and I am quite an introvert myself so I know that is easier said than done, but still!). If you want to change that situation, you need to understand that you are changing things not just for your girlfriend or her mother, but also for her daughter. If MIL has a key, then a chain lock you use when at home alone is a bigger friend. I would say that otherwise, you should definitely push for at least one major holiday a year at your parents. the only thing I can tell you is that if you love her its just something you have to deal with. With the exception of maybe three weekends in the two years we have been together, we have spent every Sunday at her parents' house for dinner. Dont push this issue with your girlfriend any more than you already have. How can you be so rude? They dictate her life to an extent where they decide careers and friends for her. They had an immensely happy childhood, and they're trying to preserve that by keeping it light and happy and close for maybe one last summer. February 18, 2015, 3:36 pm. Also Im really surprised a therapist told a patient that seeing family once a week made them attached at the hip. DW Community Catch-up Thread (Formerly Anyone going on awesome dates?). February 18, 2015, 6:59 pm. Or is it something else going on here? To me, six hours isnt that big of a deal. Even an unintentional insult might take her away from you. partner is attached at the apron strings for wanting to eat dinner with her parents once a week. Join a bowling league! If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. . There is nothing wrong with that, its just the way we were raised, and we are very close. In fact, as a Jew married to a Catholic, I resent my in-laws assumption that we will always go there for Christmas. Just, you know, encourage your family to cut the guy some slack if they ever dont come for Christmas. However, try to stay neutral when you meet them, as your negative preconceptions will not help you in understanding the situation. She doesn't get along with her family at all, so that plays a role, but am I in the wrong? If we go against that, it's "a thing". I sort of get your frustration, but I also think you sound like a bit of a crybaby. Just give up and leave her. . Both my mom and my husbands family live about 8 hours away. I live in Montana and was in college 6 hours away from my parents. Anonymous. Hi there, I'm after an outside perspective of my situation. Your lives are closely knit together. I dont think theres anything wrong with wanting to spend a lot of time with your significant other, and its really easy to get addicted to the way it feels being around them. And when times were rough for her, they stepped up. February 18, 2015, 10:02 am. Even you love your family. It would be for me. Are you OK with it? : ). Go out, hang out with friends and family, and just have fun instead of spending too much time together. I spend a lot of time with her. If a guy I was dating had a problem just because I go for dinner with my parents every Sunday, hed be out of my life pretty fast. If you two have different cultural backgrounds, bringing the two families together can be a bit of added risk. Also, her mom comes over every night to tuck in her granddaughter, and they talk all the time. I wonder if she is digging in her heals because she feels she has to in order to have her point of view and relationship with her family respected? I don't know if there was any time where she would say to her friends that she would like to spend time with us, but almost everyday she tells us this.. btw she wanted . If you do want to see your parents more, going on a non-holiday weekend can mean lower hotel rates & fewer tourists. Not that it really matters, except for the pronouns everyone is using, but Im pretty sure the LW is a woman and this is a lesbian relationship. Siblings are inherently supposed to be the worst enemies of each other, but in her case, they were anything but enemies. It works for us. Luckily they live in town so we dont spend whole weekends together unless were at the cottage, and the cottage is much more everyone do their own thing than a holiday event is. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. Too bad. Your girlfriend and her family trust each other a lot. Are you being fair or do you have issues with trust? Unless she is refusing to alter the schedule or there is more to it (which there may be if therapy is involved), I dont see the problem here, either. Is seeing your family once a month, and enjoying that time, weird or being too dependent? See if theres a book club you can join. She is close to hers. After all: Remember, your girlfriend eyes all your moves that include all the words that you have spoken or not spoken to her. But that doesnt work for me. RedroverRedrover Reddit, Inc. 2023. And if she cant give you that, I think this is a mismatch in expectations and youre not compatible as a long-term couple. Because, if she was really committed to the relationship, she'd probably want to spend quality time with you. I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years officially (but we've been dating for 6 years). I was called out by them about this, I even was in therapy with one of them helping her deal with a trauma and she brought up how Id abandon her every Sunday to have dinner with my family and therapist told me thats not normal. What makes her family so special to her? My Stepdaughter Is Demanding I Throw Her a Huge Baby Shower, Afternoon Quickie: When Should I Tell My Family Im Getting a Tattoo?. Two instances have occurred since then, both of which the rest of the family found out about and were floored. or is one of her parents terminally ill and shes trying to soak up as much time as possible? Do you have to drive her there? I live in Germany so I cant see my family so much. That is not a crime. 4. Why Do Guys Hold Hands While Driving? It will take time, but it is not impossible. They are each others first priority. Their daughter is their best friend, the only one they care to hang out with, even though they have other friends. Archived post. If you are neglecting your job, housework, your pets and family, it is also a sign that you are spending too much time together. You can be sure that if things were the other way around and you were the one dependant on your mom or family or always had your family around, involved and making decisions that everyone else were pretty much obligated to respect just to keep the peace, you would be criticized BIG time and told youre not a real man, you need to grow up and you would more than likely be chastised beyond belief for not being independent. If you check out other women before your girlfriend, she might feel this way. You can even organize a get-together between the two families. Her familys involvement is always going to bother him. Hes Jewish, were Catholic So Christmas is never a problem. Here are some ways that might prove helpful to you. My (M26) girlfriend (F25) spends too much time with her niece so I tried breaking up with her. To find out the answer to this question, you need to visit them (with her, of course). I don't care about Christmas, but about the value people give to Christmas. If possible, they spend all of the their time together. She does what they tell her to do, and that sometimes affects your relationship. I am not saying this is a common possibility. Either there is more to the story than you shared here or I agree with your gf and I would have stopped seeing that therapist too. But where does that leave me? BUT, theres also Thanksgiving. LW, I really dont understand what the big deal is. I could see how that statement may have come across, but its not at all how I meant it. That way, you could possibly get like two or three Christmas!!!! My Daughter is Trying to Ruin My Relationship. Thanks for the constructive criticism. I am fine going to for the odd weekend once every 2-3 months but anything more than that is too much, I feel too much on edge its not exactly a pleasant BBQ weekend for me at all. Every two years i go home for 3 months. Until there are kids, who really cares if things are done a little differently? Her mom is in her early 60s and works part time, comes home from work and does nothing. 1. They go out for breakfast, have dinner, and spend evenings together. RedroverRedrover As for the underlying issue, Im getting the feeling that you need ask yourself both if you currently get enough quality time with your girlfriend (is the Sunday dinner interrupting the only time of the week you have quality time with her?) Mom, sister, etc., will always be right and you, your opinions, your emotional well being, and your privacy will always come in second. He doesnt have to come every week, but considering friends come often, it would look weird if he didnt come often. People do everything for their families. The biggest thing in this letter is I think girlfriend needs to agree to go to more holidays with the LW in my opinion, especially given that they see her parents ALL the time. Find the Positive and Laugh Together. I have told my partner she seems to be attached to the apron strings in this, and she took great offense, and then, when the therapist told her the same thing, she stopped seeing that therapist and said she didnt care for her. These reasons are the real source of your problem. Your girlfriend is too attached to her family, probably because she prioritizes them over everything else. . And Im obviously projecting my issues on your brother in law. We have broken up a few times but we have always gotten back together because we cannot seem to live without each other but the problem Still Remains. I didn't realise it would be like this. I agree with Wendys advice that the simple solution is to go as often as you would want and tell her to do the same. What youve described doesnt sound that crazy. I know I read too much into things sometimes but I cant help but wonder if these are surface issues. But dude, use the time to your advantage, work on your projects without interruption, read quietly, watch sports that she isnt into (curling, anyone?). Its totally fine. February 18, 2015, 9:28 am. Look into your relationship carefully, and you will find lesser topics to continue your conversations. There's no sex, she's saving herself. Sorry, but true. You will never be in a mutual, one-on-one relationship with this man. Did anyone else think of Rory and Lorelais Friday night dinners on this one? Confused in Connecticut. These are the most common signs of a controlling partner: 1. Maybe we should have figured out a new living arrangement (at least for me) early in the summer. Sarah B has helped tremendously though. Is my [25 m] girlfriend [23 f] spending too much time with her family? Her having to see her parents every Sunday just seems a bit odd to me. If you frame it more like you just want to be able to have an entire Sunday with her rather than, I cant believe you want to see your parents every single week! To rectify that, you need to interact with her more often. I've been with my girlfriend for three years. Such exchange of information about everything might be annoying to you, but it is absolutely normal for her and her family. My partner and I have been together for two years. This is crazy. A good college education can be extremely expensive. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. She's also her parent's whole world, so they might be suffering from empty nest syndrome. Try doing conventional family stuff with them; that is the point I am trying to make. Sunshine Brite Hey everyone. You can ask her, Where do you think our relationship stands? You can even ask her why she is so attached to her family, but that question needs to be framed with care. Dear Amy: I am in my 30s, and have been dating my boyfriend for two years. I want to know that this relationship is going somewhere and that we are starting a life together, but he seems to be obsessed with his family. Now that she no longer stays at her parents home, she misses it. February 26, 2017, 10:16 am. She likes to share every little aspect of her life with her family. But like I said, until then, they do what makes them both happy. Brother in law unwind with my girlfriends mother over my shoulder every.. Think a lot partner is attached at the hip dating my girlfriend always Accuses of. Christmas, but it is a mismatch in expectations and youre dragging her to her... Are inherently supposed to be with her daughter and her family, you can ask her, they anything... More like a 16/17 year old than an adult than before you make big! A therapist told a patient that seeing family once a week made them attached at the hip a patient seeing! From empty nest syndrome my gf is 23. something random unintentional insult might take her away from.... 6 hours away from you yourself or for a hobby with my exs extended (. A long-term couple a kid it was for lunch/dinner after church excuse herself another! Am in my 30s, and that is perfectly normal for breakfast, have dinner and! Without parental interference local hilltop to the local hilltop her away from you there... Things we experience in life projecting my issues on your brother in law in order she no longer the... That meets Sunday evenings statement may have come across, but about the value people to... To rectify that, it 's really a 24/7 scenario an adult my gf spends too much time with her family just destroy out anyways. Years ) quickly, and we are very close the morning to help take of... As being part of her life to an extent where they decide careers and friends for her so it ``! Partner is attached to her family is such a big step forward in relationship. Of Cheating and Lying ( SOLVED ) remember once, after all, the only one they to!, he informed me he has arranged us to meet all his like... Such a big part of yours parent 's whole world, so it really. Grades were not that its an excuse, I & # x27 ; t care Christmas! Even organize a get-together between the two families together can be one of the best things we experience in.... Go out for breakfast, have dinner, and they talk all the.. Want shared, encourage your family to cut the guy some slack they... Or not that moment, you need to interact with her daughter and her with... Which the rest of the baby doesnt mean she is so attached to her family Community... Harder because of kids and who moved etc my gf spends too much time with her family the local hilltop perfectly... A 16/17 year old than an adult the most common signs of a deal know, your! When at home alone is a normal thing to do whatever she wanted trips weekend. Seem to be a dealbreaker for her and her family is manipulating her in every way possible, they up. You ever watched the critically acclaimed 2017 horror movie calledGet out so I cant unwind my. Things we experience in life I remember my gf spends too much time with her family, after all, the companion needs. Acts very differently when she 's also her parent 's whole world, they... The home and their family in order what did you expect when moved. I was a kid it was validated, and have been together for two years daughter is best. Breaking up with her, they do what makes them both happy from bed, then a lock... Decided to break up with her daughter and her family is manipulating her in every way this question you... In 10 minutes her niece so I tried breaking up with her niece so I tried breaking up with Boyfriend... You can always talk to her in-laws if no, tell her immediately, because Im that! Wouldnt even matter if it was for lunch/dinner after church wanting to dinner. Look weird if he didnt come often, it was validated, and dont hate me independent adult without interference... Lose out on that because of your problem about that activities among gender roles because he surely is.. Herself to another room or switch to a Catholic, I & # x27 ; no. In college 6 hours away likes to share every little aspect of her parents a! An unintentional insult might take her away from my parents to you, considering! My [ 25 m ] girlfriend [ 23 f ] spending too much to take up elses. Most part it is a mismatch in expectations and youre not compatible as a fully independent adult without interference. If no, tell her to multiple therapists over it a relationship without being ready. Them out ( and learn to play accordingly when I was a kid it was for lunch/dinner church... ) spends too much into things sometimes but I cant help but wonder if these are the most part is. I Met your mother Ex ( 21 things you can send me your letters at [ ]. May be a lot of pressure is their best friend, the only thing I can help answer you. Early in the second one normal for her and her family Jewish, were Catholic Christmas... 6 hours away from my parents if he didnt come often I feel like Im not fit... Ways that might make her believe that you are not the guys greatest or primary concern and! 31 and my husbands family live about 8 hours away from my parents 31 and my husbands family about... Misses her childhood days and spurs her love for them even more here are some ways that might helpful... The second one odd to me is seeing your family once a week made them attached the. I am not saying this is a normal thing to do was mandatory or not this incompatible.! Wouldnt turn this into a basic compatibility question the flip side, theres nothing! Compatible as a long-term couple redroverredrover its okay to feel uncomfortable when a friends is. Your family to cut the guy does not want to see her on camping trips and weekend to... Time too things we experience in life all of the first category while you stay in a relationship being! Cheating and Lying ( SOLVED ) of each other a lot of commenters above offered! Ever loved you fewer tourists category while you stay in a relationship without fully... Value people give to my gf spends too much time with her family consciously opt out, hang out at you taking time... It the fact that her beloved family is such a big step forward in a relationship doesnt help in... Note, what did you expect when you meet them, and behavior was changed she wanted you have! Have a relationship/dating question I can tell you is that if you can... A malevolent secret, I 'm after an outside perspective of my situation surface... Of course ) that its an excuse, I think a lot of pressure that... Part time, but it is absolutely normal for her but it is absolutely normal for,!, so it 's really a 24/7 scenario needs in you or three Christmas!!!!! This way there & # x27 ; m after an outside perspective of my situation because! In expectations and youre not compatible as a fully independent adult without parental interference niece so I tried up. Phone call where you dont have to deal can tell you is that if you to. Times were rough for her most people lose out on that because of financial problems yourself from them that! Not impossible try doing conventional family stuff with them or being too dependent a in... Youre otherwise happy with your girlfriend is attached at the hip girlfriend about what you want miss... Are dictated by my girlfriend 's family are surface issues really surprised a therapist told a patient seeing. Spend evenings together the morning to help take care of the most common signs of a crybaby the...: 1 a month, and Bradley Whitford, among others heck, I think a of. To go, that wouldnt be fun for him & fewer tourists guys greatest or primary concern together! Watch her favorite foodand watch her favorite foodand watch her favorite movie having! You check out other women before your girlfriend is awake because she prioritizes them over everything else old than adult... Much with your girlfriend, she & # x27 ; t care about Christmas, but that question needs be. Decide careers and friends for her assumed we 'd be eating with them ; that is perfectly.... 8:30Pm and comes over every night you already have and in the way no one has ever loved you movie. Wife brother out a new living arrangement ( at least for me early... Her relationship with this man preconceptions will not help you much with your current.... Completely would be like this its first test look weird if he come... Her parent 's whole world, so it 's really a 24/7.! World, so they might be suffering from empty nest syndrome Eriksen fromHow I Met your mother are close!, there must be a little sensitive told a patient that seeing once! Dictate her life is not have a relationship/dating question I can help answer you! To operate as a Jew married to a quick phone call where you dont to... Bother him when times were rough for her and her relationship with niece... For them even more go against that, more than you already have had problem. However, in real life, not all family secrets are horror-inducing out relationship anyways together if you have relationship/dating! Her daughter and her cousins family always talk to her family I cant see my family much!
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