Turns out he has other women on his list. (we met from online dating) one day he left his FB signed on on my computer. She told me how depressed he was, and how much he mised me. In times of need, the narcissist may even try to reconcile and resume the romantic relationship with their exes. They will begin to make themselves present and will make sure you know just how important they think you are. Its been almost 2 years since I left my Narc/BPD relationship. They need someone that will feed them the attention they need. This woman made a great and obvious point that people never regret trusting their instinct. Then she started changing. One day I asked to borrow his car which normally wasnt an issue even if I was upset and he dangled the keys and took them away. I continued working on it and finally came across this blog. Never did anything for nothing always to do with $ not only did I have the suicide of my husband to deal with but also this N my heart was shattered 4 months ago. Though the last straw was when he assaulted me and he is now going through the police court system for it the only way Ive managed no contact is a protection order through the police! Im so sorry to all of you. I tried to give it time, but after nearly 3 months of us dating, he still would never post pictures of me. And to not make themselves look bad, the narcissist can change the whole story, and tell it from their perspective. 4 days later. They usually dont. I just spent 1 year with a vulnerable narcissist. This is her cycle. I am sure he is up already taking advantage of somebody else while I am making peace with my self day by day. What I did is unhealthy, part of a vicious cycle of not being able to let go. Later I called her and said told her I couldnt be friends and just need to heal. I was in therapy for a year and went on Prozac to deal with him. He.lied, cheated, used me for sex and money, physically assaulted me when I finally confronted him and I miss him. Always on his terms. Loved it and so true x. Hmmmm, all very true, now that Ive seen the indisputable proof. Limit interactions. He is only thinking of himself. im just now realizing im dating a narcissist. I felt like I had been raped during my time of grieving. I financed the home he built helping paint and decorate and landscape.. over time i could see i was walking his dogs for him..i was buying dinners all the time..i was the one doing all the work! I realize this is an old blog/post but this is where I am at the present time with my ex N. He has been juggling me for 3 years. feel as shitty, ignored, devastated, confused, suspicious, nauseous, jealous or hostile as XXXXXXX made me feel. These are all red flags. My emotions are already up and down. Only the new supply cant know. I will disappear from his radar 20 years of an illusion- what a waste of time. Now its at about ballroom proportion here and I am DONE! Basically, Get out, shine, know youre worth, and start dating again. Id welcome your thoughts and others experiences around this. I am a pretty good read at human behavior, which is why I think I stayed. Still recovering! Years of death threats (one attempt while I was pregnant with my daughter), kidnapping threats, smear campaigns resulting in having literally dozens of people looking at me with hate. Everyone think he is this wonderful golden. I STILL didnt get that I was getting brushed off tho. As soon as we got back to his place and I had picked my car up & driven off he ditched me by text, saying it had been coming to an end for a very long time, leave him alone and find someone else who gives a damn. It leads me to wonder if she is also a narcissist and do relationships usually work out when two narcissist are together? As they get older their tactics theyll hve to try harder it aint cute to be a user, loser in your 40s-50s. I was stuck because we hit it off so well in other ways and the chemistry was so strong. In the last contact, I wrote him a long note saying I would always be there for him. Mine actually had the audacity to want to talk positive after we were broke up 7 mo. The minute my son and I got to NY we were treated with thinly veiled contempt. Well didnt you take his girlwho cares. Stories of exes were crazy or the stories spun. She has severe codependency issues and always like poor baby with him. I left my husband of 30 years for this man and just now I am realizing that I fell for an illusion. We talked about a future together. Will have other women losing their minds over me, but gas light me every now and then. He turned everything around and blamed me for it. In my week moments I will want to know if he cared enough to try. The simple answer is no. They also dont want to give you closure or to see you moving on without them which is another reason why they are prone to interjecting themselves by hoovering you often. Narc ex boyfriend insisted on continuing to have relationships with ex girlfriends. Like howd I get sucked into such an evil life force? He is surrounded by a cadre of lonely women who think he is wonderful and a gentleman. He blocked me everywhere. I loved that the could build things, was artistic and he was so hot and sexy and i told him all the timefor a year..No wonder i am hurt..I did it to myselfI allowed him to devalue me so much my own sense of self was gone..i became a different person. I guess she was at loss after 20 years of total enslavement by him. A mature adult, when they really want to be with you, will simply shut down any hit-ons or calls from exes. Theyll discard you only once youre either drained and broken, or when you start calling them out and expecting reciprocity and accountability. He told me I was mean and vindictive and that is why he was never able to love me. After that I thought maybe things would get better, we would be free to live our lives, have the house to ourselves, thinking the stres would subside with the battle between him and my daughter. What I mean by triangulation is that he constantly introduced a third party, another woman, as either a real or imagined threat to our relationship. Narcissists feed on the control they have over other people. You are a good woman. They feel relieved to end the story peacefully, run away and never look back. Truly sick people, its a blessing in diguise when they leave, especially when I spent my whole marriage trying to find a way to leave of course each time Id try he would play the suicide card, but when they drive you to the point of insanity with their abuse and you scream suicide they act in disgust for you to have such feelings. OMG! And, inconceivably to any normal person, I was completely and totally devastated to the point I didnt care if I was pushed in front of a subway train. I managed to be shunned by wife AND harem simply by having the guts to leave and name his behaviour for what it was. The brothers and sisters sold the family farm he lived in and bought an RV and moved to a Nudist camp for swingers! In another world, I probably could even be friends with some of them. This is crucial to remember. He lived in my apartment which I was paying for. Stinks doesnt it what narc has done to our well being. I told him NO. We started hooking up again for a while and decided to try again and work on things. Trying to get things out of me and trying to guilt me into helping him out. I just broke up with my ex We were in a long distance relationship for seven months. Then I love you. And I love you more than my wife. I love you more than anybody.. The reason why we broke up ultimately is that after a night at a a club, I tried to come on to him and he kept talking about the girl dancing near us with her man and muttered how every guy was looking at her and blah blah and how he would just tell the guy she was dancing with to take her home and have sex. As a BetterHelp affiliate, we may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. He imediatly found his car keys and left, he is definatly afraid of the Law. Read blogs like this one for support. he once even said so i was talking to a couple of other girls its not the end of the world I am very much in love with him and he is very much in love with me and we both know that we are getting to a point where some big decisions need to be made. But they are also people that can be extremely seductive. I purchased a cell phone detector to detect a gps tracker on my vehicle. I never knew they could be so evil. Finally when he got back from the last trip, he told me something isnt clicking. I responded that he there was NO WAY in hell there wasnt another woman because when things get rough for him he ALWAYS diversifies his relationship portfolio,. which he had claimed to have cut off for me. They may continue to contact their ex-partner and try to continuously persuade them to come back. Its the only way to get away! Have to admit, its like giving up an addiction to someone who gets you hooked on their reward-punishment-reward system, you know you can get the high if you just debase yourself enough, basicallyand even now two months later I still think about him all the time and am just trying to read as much as I can to get a clear picture and not feel like I did something wrong or should be ashamed by the role I played in the situation. It was confusing the whole time until I got friend-zoned (after we slept together) but with tons of affection, its so important to me to see you every week, shit like that, mingled with devaluation like taking phone calls in the middle of conversations and talking about sex as if I were a guy friend. everything must go their way- remember he badmouths them to However, the reality is that I say yes when he does contact. Another issue with his own ignorance, another fall for me. my ex boyfriend has narcissist behavior. He claimed they were only friends. Hed say I was funny and smart. I knew something was off from the beginning and trusted his lies over my gut. We have texted a few times since then (Tuesday) Im never nice when I confront him about things. I found this article very helpful & insightful. Spread lies about why youre together again.FACT. I just broke up with a narcissist (who was an only child) and after reading more about this his dad was defiantly one too. I could never stand his behavior though and would call him on all of it so he didnt like me very much and tell me I was mean to him. I havent dared check my phone since as I know he will only come back with more cold and detached comments that will hurt to the core. This person does some admirable things in the community, and he knows nearly everyone in our small area. I thought it was kind of funny when we started dating that all his friends were adding me on Facebook. But there is a problem with that, which is that this self-assured person after a while wont be able to put the narcissist at the center of their world, as they would like it to be. I dont love him now and never will again. SMH! I went so far as to file for divorce. That is his preference.He makes up stories about women too. He said she was around 58. Its easier to just go no contact and be done. I replied what??!! My guess? It wasnt until the talk of all the other women became too much for me to bare. At worst he is verbally spiteful. I still traveled back home and was delighted that my mother and my sister could FINALLY be with each other. Dont waste your energy on trying to wrap your head around this! It is exactly as you say and I wish I had known all this sooner but even if I had I might not have listened because he was my drug. I later regretted saying no. And then if they met me in person they would make it a point to post how awesome it was to meet me and how I was so cute or pretty or nice. I was single living alone and experienced someone picking my locks to gain entrance everywhere I moved. I decided to go no contact and blocked this assholes phone number and I had blocked him on the FB. Every one I know says leave him but Im old fashion and dont believe I. Divorce I dont want my kids to grow up with out there father but I dont want them to end up like him eaither help. His actions at best are showing you that he has a massive fear of commitment and that he cant make up his mind whether to stay or go. They may ask you a question like, Can we just be friends?. There is no doubt that these individuals like to be the center of attention. I wanted to talk about Narcs and triangulation a concept I learned by reading other comments on this blog. SEPARATE ASAP!!!! He ignored my requests to return to shore such that I could use the restroom. He looked confused, lol . But Im just a psycho ex remember. Ive found Xxxxxxx on Tinder, meaning that hes actively looking for someone else. My advice is, be satisfied that you know the truth. They are fucking crazy! A few weeks later we made a false account on one called I fuck you and guess who replied. we have a family dinner to get through on Saturday but after that i am going no contact. Only I havent gotten involved with him because he wanted to jump in my pants immediately and I refused. When they feel their ex is at the most vulnerable time of their life they would bounce back to secure supply from them. These people, also called the Narcissistic harem, mainly consist of ex-girlfriends, potential girlfriends and women who wish to be his girlfriend. And because of that, they may want to keep your memory fresh about how great your sexual life with them was. Narcs dont do rejection well and if there are any violent tendencies in your Narc you never know what could happen. Ditto. I plan to keep it that way . Yet he tells me to shut up at idiotic criticism by a deaf DJ, or whimsically throws the But thats not really why Im writing this is the first comment like this Ive ever written, on any site. I have never had sex like this before. Two days after his fiance sent me a picture of her in the wedding dress she had picked out and I had an anxiety attack. It has been about a week since last communication. BUTwhy? he is selfish. In my situation said guy clinged to me and my daughter. He also strikes up conversations with anyone who he sees as important, attractive, has a wandering eye, very flashy and wants all brand name clothes, louis vuitton, gucci, fendi versace etc. I have just left the sad person I called my love. But it was near vday and he was trying to make a break to get away from responsibility. If he felt me slipping away, he would always pull me back in with a breadcrumb. And from what you typed, it is. What a miserable journey thinking I was in love with someone, had a future together while the whole time he treated me like S***. He said that he would give up his special friend that had cared for him. Walk away. I broke up with him of course, but now were back together But its just because I really really want to help him out. Because these men were inconsequential. Youre practicing no contact or minimal contact and youve started processing some of your past hurts. I dont know what the future holds, it just feels like i need to hold on tight and pray and hope Ill be okay. Started to call me crazy and say that I was harassing him. They will end up alone and hating life in the end. The mixed messages he sends are to keep you invested in him. You will not be the one. Truth be said he NEEDED me I never truly needed him!!!! Dont be a VICTIM and NEVER EVER give up your CHI (your inner life force)..these types of people arent worth it. I swear I was involved with one, who wanted me to move in with him, and who said he wanted a partner for life. He begs for my friendship, lies about everything. The person with NPD will vault those boundaries in no time flat, doing so while you watch in amazement at their audacity after what they have already put you through. Id message him when his green light was on but he wouldnt reply. So I broke up with him. He made me feel unattractive and never complimented me (except when would send him pics for validation) never in person. My mail was stolen out of the locking mailbox. even advises I leave out of the mix-. His response will likely be silence. For those of you who are new, we." I put everything into helping him with his business, sorting out his finances, organising his home. In other words is there something of value first to ones self -respect and esteem to in some form hold them accountable for their actions/behaviors by giving them feedback on the impact of the way in which you felt ultimately treated? He would be with me, plan on marrying me and meet someone else and break up with me. You are out of his league and you know it. Narcissistic supply is one of the prime reasons for them to date commit to a relationship. He had a small job with a charity at the time making nothing to mention. 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