However this website has really helped me. He even basically told me he didnt care if I died as long as I didnt drop dead in front of him because he doesnt need to deal with that bs! but to a predator or sociopath they see it as a power playthey are sick weak people..pathetic lowly people who seek to treat someone this way. he still talks babytalk to them. I love him so but this is taking me to the ground fast. She would return gifts and letters unopened, never answer the phone or respond is any way. I go to doctors and get rx because Im disabled , but somehow there is problems with that .. She was hypercritical of me, emotionally abusive, deemed me to be a hopeless loser who would never amount to anything (I think this is how she felt justified in rejecting me). He is reclusive rarely ever leaving the home, doesnt even walk outdoors. Narcissists DO NOT give unconditional loveThe best and only advice I can give you is to be strong, be your own person, be proud of who you are becoming and don`t let the bastards manipulate you and bully you. How would we differentiate going no or low contact from giving the silent treatment? Why Ignore a Narcissist? Guess Im not the only one suffering with a bunch of narcs in my family! No contact is you making a break for freedom and not going backsaving your sanity, your soul and maybe your life. He talked of soul chemistry and how good we felt together, holding my hand and gazing in my eyes. Even when he sits in front of the tv he will ask for sexual favors and then say but I must not disturb him he is watching tv and then again when I do these favors halfway through he will say he hates it I must leave the f house. I have been with him as much as he has allowed anyway fir the last year and a half.. even when he would break up with me, i wad loyal and always found myself waiting for him to come back, to change his mind. This is how they get their kicks, knowing they have affected you. Thank you all for your input on this site, thank you for letting me and, others know were not alone in this nightmare. If they wanted all the brown M&Ms removed from the bowl, I was the one who picked them out to make everyone happy. Sadly my daughter grew up to be just like her narc gran and aunt . Wow, describes my 27 year marriage! Will ignoring the narcissist make them come back? The trick is knowing when and how to. Do it! And, a narcissist's need for supply can never be filled. Although I predicted the future and it all happened almost to the letter, he ended up confined, his freedom was removed. Book a counseling session today! I know my mother is pained from our lack of a relationship, but I feel healthier and free from negativity being away. It has been suggested that there are different levels of narcissism, with some narcissists reacting in more extreme ways to being ignored than others. I know its sad when you have grandchildren. When at times Ive tgreatens to leave he states he is going to shoot himself and licks himself in his Madroom as I now just let him be and go to work. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. It makes me so sad. The last time it happened was about 18 months ago and maybe I have used reverse pyschology on them for a change this time. Ignoring them back is like getting out of your seat and leaving the theater. Why on earth are you keeping him around? I was married for 28 years. Jay Reid is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in private practice in San Francisco, CA. Fuck that, I am not waiting around for her to love me anymore. I mean I dont need people. It was a hard situation because it was just the two of us in the department.. I would like to have it out with my parents before they get too old and die. Devaluing others raises their perceived worth. I was very sick for months at a time. I think you may need to find a site that deals with domestic abuse. What Im wondering though, you say not to play the game, not to catch the ball they are throwing. Any thoughts on healing or anything else would be greatly appreciated. I mean why respect those who constantly disrespect you! Tell the narcissist that their silence is an unacceptable way of dealing with conflict and that you will exit the relationship if it continues. The tipping point was when he told me of one of his affairs before it happened. So this week its the silent treatment and not sleeping with me or sleeping with all his clothes on, hahahaOh yeah and now that I dont have a job, money, friends, hes in hog heaven. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 30,288 times. They build up narcissistic delusions of self-importance to fuel their insatiable need for validation. My son has watched this man destroy me for 5 years. I was restricted from ever going to his office, computer or phone. In my late fifties, I came on hard times: lots of sicknesses, deaths, tragedies, financial hardships she pulled away from me and got very critical again, very blaming. Finally, youngest graduated from high school and I filed for divorce. My mother said she never wants to see me again and so has my daughter. Its comforting to know its not just happening to me but at the same time rather scary too that theres so many people suffering because of Narcassism. There is something in my that just cant quite let someone get completely over on me. During that time my husband attacked me in front of my daughter and she begged me to call the police. Challenge negative beliefs about yourself. Whether you use it on someone with a narcissistic personality disorder or someone without, the results are sure to be disastrous. He actually did love me back to health, the disappearances were less frequent but I also treated him like a GOD. I wanted to get back and try but , as said Im getting treated like a narcissist. I have half of my life invested here + 2 beautiful kids to boot. When you refuse to acknowledge the narcissists behavior they tend to lash out in other ways like: Theyre unlikely to give up until youre groveling before them and asking for forgiveness. Vicky, you just saved my life, I currently contemplated ending my life (because of my narcissist partner of 14 years). There is my sign!! This is a foreshadowing of how he will treat you the rest of your marriage, or worse. Thank you and many blessings to you Vickie (scriptures ????) Yes, these men do kill. In between he could behave and we had a perfect sexlife thats why I stayed so long. Put what little energy you seem to have left and focus on fixing yourselves. He then had me babysit his grandson with him every Thursday and Friday for 2 years. M.S. I am going to write my mother a letter nearer her birthday, telling her that I forgive her for her abuse and that I understand the deep wounds she had when she was a child. my crazy evil narcissistic mother is using this on me now suddenlyits difficult to deal withit has been over a month and she is pretending shes the victim when shes the devilits starting to break me down..we live apart of course but stillI live in a place my parents own and need to talk to her about certain things..how disgusting that she wont take my calls or talk to me at all yet sat around saying to people how much she loved me and how WORRIED she was about me 24/7im in my 30s! I know he is not done hurting me. I never thought this would happen to me, I am shocked and apalled that my so called family of birth could be so downright vindictive and awful, verging on demonic. Is there anything else I can do? but sadly when it comes to relationships I seem to be drawn to NPD like a moth to a flame. Narcissistic discard refers to the last stage of the narcissistic love pattern when a narcissist abandons the relationship. he still plays victim and im to blame. At times they reinforce the dream you have of them, when they are nice, and its hard to break away. Positive or negative engagement is a win for a narcissist; this is why they will try different techniques to get any sort of rise out of you. not a card nothing. If you were in a friendship, it might mean nurturing your other friendships or creating new ones. My husband would go out to dinner with woman alone on business trips or site seeing and whenever Id question him I got the silent treatment and told I was impugning his honor. I am at a stage now where I walk on eggshells and count every word I am saying. Its beyond me how blood family can turn their backs and never look back. Ha, Ha, Im in my late 20s and I have never wanted a relationship. My father also made it clear that this incident should never be talked about again. It`s fascinating stuff and it`s taken along time to learn about who I am, but I`m here and although abit battered and sad at times. Light and Joy be with you all! It will not get better. the victim isnt vulnerable..theyre just normalits normal to want to talk to someone who is not talking to you suddenly. However I had experience of this before with him so I expected as much. Let them know that you care about them and want to understand whats troubling them. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them. You will get hurt again and again. 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